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7
Overall Band
7
Task Response
7
Coherence
7
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay provides a clear and organized description of the trends in the line graph, presenting a good understanding of the data. However, there are areas where the clarity could be improved, particularly in the explanation of trends and predictions. Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing are present, which slightly affect the readability.
The essay addresses the task effectively by summarizing the main trends and providing specific data points. It offers a clear overview and makes predictions based on the data. However, the explanation of trends, particularly the comparison between different transportation modes, could be more precise and detailed.
The essay is generally well-organized with a logical structure. Cohesion is maintained through the use of linking words and phrases. However, some sentences could be better connected to improve the flow of information. Paragraphing is appropriate, but transitions between ideas can be smoother.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the task. There is some variety in word choice, but a few repetitions and awkward expressions are present. More precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the clarity and sophistication of the essay.
The essay contains a range of grammatical structures, but some errors are noticeable, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect use of prepositions. These errors, although not severely affecting comprehension, do detract from the overall grammatical accuracy.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
The line graph illustrates the monthly usage of four different eco-friendly transportation forms, namely subway, tram, bus and bike share, in an European urban area from 1980 to 2030.
The introduction clearly states the purpose of the graph and the time frame. However, 'an European urban area' should be corrected to 'a European urban area' due to the pronunciation of 'European'.
Body paragraph 1
Overall, while the ridership of subway, tram and bikeshare increased over the years, and are projected to continue rising, that of bus fall, then keep dropping gradually by the end of the period. Subway was recorded to be the most favoured type of transportation during the surveyed period, and will continue to reach its peak by the last year.
This paragraph provides a good overview of the trends. The phrase 'that of bus fall, then keep dropping' should be corrected to 'that of bus falls, then continues to drop'. The sentence structure could be improved for clarity.
Body paragraph 2
Regarding the usage of subway, tram and bike share, while the former two types of transportation have comparable patterns across the years, the data for bike share have only started since 2000, with a mere minority of about 0.2 millions of commuters using this vehicle. Initially, although subway was the most prevalent type of transportation at 2.5 million commuters, and tram was the least favoured one (0.3 millions), they all witnessed some noticeable increases in the next 40 years, to roughly 3.5 millions and 1.5 millions respectively. These figures are then forecasted to reach their peaks at 4.5 millions for subway and 2 millions for tram at the end of the period. Bike share only experienced a negligible increase to 0.5 millions in 2020, before being predicted to climb modestly by 0.1 millions by 2030.
This paragraph effectively details the trends for subway, tram, and bike share. The phrase 'have only started since 2000' could be clearer if phrased as 'only started in 2000'. Also, '0.2 millions' should be '0.2 million'.
Conclusion
Concerning the ridership of bus, although this mean of transport ranked second at the beginning of the period at just over 1.5 millions, it then underwent a gradual decline to about 1.3 millions by 2020, after being surpassed by its tram counterpart in 2010 (1.4 millions). Commuting by bus will no longer be preferred by European citizens, as the data for bus is projected to countinue falling to approximately 0.7 millions by the end of the period, and will have a high chance to be surpassed by bike share.
This conclusion summarizes the trends for bus usage well. However, 'this mean of transport' should be 'this means of transport', and 'countinue' should be corrected to 'continue'. The prediction about the bus being surpassed by bike share is a good closing point.
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