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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay provides a basic overview of the line graph, mentioning some key trends and figures. However, it lacks detailed analysis and contains several grammatical and lexical errors. The structure is evident, but there are issues with coherence and cohesion due to abrupt transitions and unclear explanations.
The essay addresses the task by mentioning some of the trends in the data. However, it lacks depth and detail, with limited explanations of the trends and their implications. The description of the information is not comprehensive, and some key data points are missing. There is also some confusion in the explanation of the trends, particularly with the 'bike share' data.
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the coherence is weak due to unclear connections between sentences and abrupt transitions. There is an effort to organize the information, but the overall flow is disrupted by vague statements and lack of clarity.
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with limited range and occasional inaccuracies. There are some attempts to use more varied expressions, but they are not always used correctly. Some phrases are awkward or unclear, which affects the clarity of the essay.
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structures are generally simple, with limited use of complex structures. These errors detract from the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
The line graph demonstrates how many passengers used the four different types of transportation on a period of fifty years from 1980 to 2030 Overall, the subway and tram showed the most significant changes compared to the other and the subway might be the most popular vehicle in a European metropolitan. However, it can be seen that bike share showed minimal change over time.
The introduction attempts to provide an overview of the graph but lacks clarity and precision. The mention of 'a European metropolitan' is vague and not directly relevant to the graph description. The phrase 'on a period of fifty years' should be 'over a period of fifty years'.
Body paragraph 1
In 1980, Tram recorded the lowest number with around 0.5 millions people using it and tended to increase while bus came up with 1.5 millions at the beginning and continued to a negative trend, then both of them met at the year 2010. Moreover, the subway always keep the highest rank over a period started with 2.5 millions and continuing increase significantly in 2030.
This paragraph attempts to describe the trends but is marred by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The phrase '0.5 millions' should be '0.5 million'. The explanation of how tram and bus usage trends meet in 2010 is unclear. The use of 'always keep the highest rank' is incorrect and should be rephrased for clarity.
Body paragraph 2
It can bee seen that bike share was appeared for the first time in 2000 with solely under 0.5 millions, then may not well known after year with over 0.5 millions in 2030.
This paragraph is unclear and contains several errors. The phrase 'was appeared' is incorrect; it should be 'appeared'. The explanation of the bike share trend is vague and lacks clarity. The phrase 'may not well known after year' is confusing and needs rephrasing.
Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear conclusion. A conclusion should summarize the key findings and insights from the data, providing closure to the essay.
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