Some employers are giving increased importance to hiring people with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for job success?
Question
Some employers are giving increased importance to hiring people with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for job success?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view on the importance of social skills and qualifications in the workplace. However, clarity and coherence are affected by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The organization of ideas is generally clear, but some points could be developed further for better cohesion.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both social skills and qualifications. However, the argument could be made stronger by providing more specific examples and explanations. The conclusion restates the opinion but does not fully synthesize the arguments presented.
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is an attempt to link ideas within paragraphs. However, transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Some points are repeated or not fully developed, affecting overall cohesion.
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choice. There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but it sometimes lacks precision. More variety and accuracy in word choice would improve the score.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures that impact clarity. There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but accuracy is inconsistent. Improving sentence structure and correcting errors would enhance readability.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some employers are giving increased importance to hiring people with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for job success?
Introduction
In recent years, many managers are focusing more on hiring people with high emotional intelligence rather than those with advanced degrees. I totally agree with this recruitment method, but I would give benefits for both sides about this topic. (Em có quên cách viết mở bài của dàng này rùi ạ :’))
The introduction presents the topic and states a position. However, the phrasing is awkward, and the expression of agreement is unclear. The inclusion of non-English text is inappropriate for an IELTS essay.
Body paragraph 1
On the side that I support, people with good social skills can help the companies or agencies develop more sustainably. Firstly, a person with high emotional quotient can communicate smoother, that could lead to higher percentage of success in every negotiation. Another thing, a person with emotional intelligence would have good teamwork skills, they can talk smartly and avoid conflict as much as they can. Last but not least, people with high EQ can come up with appropriate sales or negotiation plans to help increase the company's revenue and sales efficiency. In short, social skills can create a non-toxic working environment, help increase team’s or companies’ productivity.
This paragraph supports the importance of social skills with several points. The ideas are relevant but could be more clearly linked and explained. Some sentences are awkwardly structured, affecting clarity. Examples could be more specific to strengthen the argument.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, having high degrees or qualifications means they really have potential in that field. For example, there are many jobs that require a good certificate to ensure that they are capable of doing that work such as Medicine, Engineering or Teaching. By studying in those fields, people can gain the necessary experience and knowledge through training needed to perform complex and specialized tasks. Moreover, achieving high qualifications like bachelor’s or master degrees proves that they have strong mental and discipline to maintain their knowledge through process, those certificates not only require intelligence but also resilience and focus. These characteristics are important in any work environment and can contribute significantly to job success.
This paragraph discusses the importance of qualifications. It provides relevant examples, but some points could be further developed. The sentence structure is sometimes awkward, affecting clarity. The paragraph could benefit from clearer links between ideas.
Conclusion
Having looked at both sides, people with high qualifications can show their effort and discipline, the quality in communication to make better environment still outweighs. Personally, I could no't agree more with the opinion that we should hire people with high social skills.
The conclusion restates the opinion but does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. It lacks clarity due to awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. A more cohesive summary of the main points would strengthen the conclusion.
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