Some employers are giving increased importance to hiring people with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for job success?
Question
Some employers are giving increased importance to hiring people with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for job success?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view on the importance of social skills and qualifications in job success. The arguments are generally clear, but there is room for improvement in coherence, grammar, and lexical resource.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position on the importance of social skills alongside qualifications. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples or evidence to support the points made.
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear structure. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and some sentences are not well-connected, affecting the overall flow of the argument.
The vocabulary used is appropriate, with some varied expressions. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices that detract from the clarity of the essay.
The essay contains a range of grammatical structures, but there are frequent errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and verb tense that occasionally impede understanding.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some employers are giving increased importance to hiring people with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for job success?
Introduction
In recent years, many managers are focusing more on hiring people with high emotional intelligence rather than those with advanced degrees. I totally agree with this recruitment method, but I would give benefits for both sides about this topic.
The introduction provides a clear thesis statement, but the phrasing is somewhat awkward. Consider rephrasing for clarity and conciseness.
Body paragraph 1
On the side that I support, people with good social skills can help the companies or agencies develop more sustainably. Firstly, a person with high emotional quotient can communicate smoother, that could lead to higher percentage of success in every negotiation. Another thing, a person with emotional intelligence would have good teamwork skills, they can talk smartly and avoid conflict as much as they can. Last but not least, people with high EQ can come up with appropriate sales or negotiation plans to help increase the company's revenue and sales efficiency. In short, social skills can create a non-toxic working environment, help increase team’s or companies’ productivity.
This paragraph presents several benefits of social skills. However, the ideas could be better connected, and some sentences are awkwardly constructed. More specific examples could enhance the argument.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, having high degrees or qualifications means they really have potential in that field. For example, there are many jobs that require a good certificate to ensure that they are capable of doing that work such as Medicine, Engineering or Teaching. By studying in those fields, people can gain the necessary experience and knowledge through training needed to perform complex and specialized tasks. Moreover, achieving high qualifications like bachelor’s or master degrees proves that they have strong mental and discipline to maintain their knowledge through process, those certificates not only require intelligence but also resilience and focus. These characteristics are important in any work environment and can contribute significantly to job success.
This paragraph effectively discusses the importance of qualifications. The examples provided are relevant, but the paragraph could benefit from a more concise presentation and clearer sentence structure.
Conclusion
Having looked at both sides, people with high qualifications can show their effort and discipline, the quality in communication to make better environment still outweighs. Personally, I could no't agree more with the opinion that we should hire people with high social skills.
The conclusion restates the main argument, but the transition between ideas is abrupt. The phrasing is awkward and could be improved for clarity.
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