Some employers are giving increased importance to hiring people with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for job success?
Question
Some employers are giving increased importance to hiring people with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for job success?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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4
Overall Band
3
Task Response
4
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay does not effectively address the given task. The response does not relate to the topic of social skills versus qualifications for job success. Instead, it discusses the disparity in salaries between leaders and employees, which is not relevant to the task prompt. The essay lacks coherence and does not follow a clear structure aligned with the task requirements. Additionally, the language used is often inaccurate and lacks complexity, impacting the clarity and effectiveness of communication.
The essay fails to address the task prompt, which asks about the importance of social skills compared to qualifications for job success. The response instead focuses on salary disparities between leaders and employees, which is irrelevant to the question. There is no clear position taken on the actual topic, and the ideas presented do not contribute to answering the task question.
The essay lacks a clear logical structure and does not adequately link ideas to the task. While there are some attempts at developing paragraphs, the content within them is not related to the task. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and the overall progression of ideas is weak, making it difficult to follow the argument.
The vocabulary used is limited and often repetitive, with attempts at more complex language sometimes resulting in errors. There is a lack of precision in word choice, and the essay does not demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the task topic, as it addresses an unrelated subject.
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms and sentence structures, which affect the clarity of the text. While there are attempts to use complex structures, they are not consistently accurate, leading to confusion and a lack of precision in communication.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some employers are giving increased importance to hiring people with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for job success?
Introduction
In recent years, it is common for leaders of organizations to receive higher salaries than their employees. While some argue this is preferential treatment, others, including me, consider it indeed is an essence of maintaining business.
The introduction does not address the task prompt about social skills and qualifications. Instead, it introduces an unrelated topic about salary disparities, which misleads the reader about the essay's focus.
Body paragraph 1
It should be acknowledged that the compensation gap between leaders and employees is staggering in many companies. For instance, CEOs of Fortune 500 companies often make headlines about higher income and huge benefit packages, which total to millions of US dollars per year. In contrast, the average wage for ordinary workers ranges at a much more modest sum from 15 - 20 dollars per hour. This is unrealistic because all people work similar hours - 8 hours per day and sometimes top executive’s productivity is not as high as full time employees. Thus, this is unequal, considering effort and time commitment.
This paragraph discusses the salary gap between executives and regular employees, which is irrelevant to the task question. The ideas presented do not contribute to answering the question about social skills and qualifications.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, arguments hold that paying higher money is crucial for organizational success. This is because directors play a vital role as they invest in the company and be responsible for the organization’s success and failure. Furthermore, it can motivate employees and attracts talent as high pay means that hard work and dedication are rewarded, inspiring workers to perform better and stay with the company. Therefore, contributing to the development of the company.
While this paragraph tries to justify the salary gap, it still does not relate to the task question. The discussion remains off-topic and does not address the role of social skills versus qualifications in job success.
Conclusion
Overall, Although leaders receive higher salaries can be considered as a bias, in my opinion, directors of huge organization get far greater pay can bring motivation to employees and increase the company's chance of success.
The conclusion restates the irrelevant topic of salary disparity rather than summarizing a response to the task question. It fails to provide any insights on the importance of social skills compared to qualifications for job success.
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