Evaluation for Question #8380

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Question

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your Essay

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7
Overall Band
7
Task Response
7
Coherence
7
Lexical
6
Grammar

The essay presents a balanced view of both perspectives regarding the best path to a successful career. The arguments are well-supported with examples, although some areas could benefit from clearer expression and organization.

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion. However, the opinion could be more explicitly stated in the introduction. The examples provided are relevant, but the explanation of their relevance could be more detailed.

The essay generally follows a logical structure, with clear paragraphing. There is a good use of linking words, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and some use of higher-level words. However, there are occasional inaccuracies and repetition, such as the repeated use of 'successful career'. Greater variety and precision in word choice would enhance the essay.

The essay contains a variety of sentence structures, though some grammatical errors are present, such as subject-verb agreement issues and awkward phrasing. Improving grammatical accuracy and sentence variety would strengthen the essay.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Introduction

Some people argue that the best way to one’s successful professional life is attending university or college, while others consider that getting a practical job right after finishing school is a better option. In my view, I would prefer to be a university student, and in this essay, I will analyze both ideas and discuss my reasons.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, joining the workforce at a really young age can generate various benefits for both employers and employees. This can give these school-leavers an early start for their career paths, providing potential opportunities to adapt to the job market and develop themselves in skills and experiences. While their peers still need to learn academic knowledge, they have chances to face practical challenges sooner, helping them to become more independent and enhance personal involvement. Additionally, there are jobs that do not require any qualifications or theoretical knowledge, though they demand real experiences and skills. For example, in fields such as sales or marketing, a person with expertise in theories might not have a more successful career than a person who is experienced and skilled. skillful. Thus, it can be a waste of time for individuals, whose jobs require practice rather than knowledge-based if they need to undergo any unessential course in higher education.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand, pursuing a degree in universities can both be necessary and helpful for some, whose goals are becoming experts and professors in any field and occupations. Universities or colleges, which will supply students with full academic and theoretical lessons, leading them to achieve higher levels of knowledge and even gain an insight into fields that students are studying and oriented to. Individuals who study in prestigious universities and colleges will become potential employees for companies, enhancing their opportunities and getting plus points in the job market. Not only knowledge, getting a college degree makes chances for students to make friends, strengthen social bonds, and extend their friendship circle. Collaboration with peers, seniors, and professors enhances their teamwork, communication skills, and leadership skills, and generates favourable time for observation, inquiry, and motivation. Besides that, there are jobs that highly require a degree and a long process of study, such as doctor, engineer, or scientist. For instance, to become a doctor, students need to achieve bachelor degrees and master degrees, which take seven years to get. Although their study path can be hard and determined, waiting for them is a potential career path and promising professional life.

Conclusion

In summary, while getting into the job market right after finishing school can bring practical skills and experiences, the knowledge collected from higher education is still more essential and can increase personal value. For me, pursuing universities and colleges is the shortest and easiest path to success.

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