Evaluation for Question #8380

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Question

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your Essay

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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar

The essay addresses both views of the task and provides a clear opinion. However, there are some issues with coherence and cohesion, as well as grammatical accuracy. The lexical resource is adequate, but there are minor errors and awkward phrases that affect clarity.

The essay discusses both views and presents a clear opinion. It provides relevant examples and explanations to support the arguments. However, some ideas could be more fully developed, and the opinion could be more clearly integrated throughout the essay.

The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs discussing each view. However, some sentences and ideas lack clear connections, and there are minor issues with the logical flow of ideas. The use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance clarity.

The vocabulary is appropriate and mostly accurate, with some variety. However, there are occasional awkward phrases and word choices that slightly obscure meaning. Further expansion of the lexical range would improve the essay.

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and word forms. These errors occasionally impact the clarity and precision of the writing.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Introduction

Some people argue that the best way to one’s successful professional life is attending university or college, while others consider that getting a practical job right after finishing school is a better option. In my view, I would prefer to be a university student, and in this essay, I will analyze both ideas and discuss my reasons.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, joining the workforce at a really young age can generate various benefits for both employers and employees. This can give these school-leavers an early start for their career paths, providing potential opportunities to adapt to the job market and develop themselves in skills and experiences. While their peers still need to learn academic knowledge, they have chances to face practical challenges sooner, helping them to become more independent and enhance personal involvement. Additionally, there are jobs that do not require any qualifications or theoretical knowledge, though they demand real experiences and skills. For example, in fields such as sales or marketing, a person with expertise in theories might not have a more successful career than a person who is experienced and skilled. skillful. Thus, it can be a waste of time for individuals, whose jobs require practice rather than knowledge-based if they need to undergo any unessential course in higher education.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand, pursuing a degree in universities can both be necessary and helpful for some, whose goals are becoming experts and professors in any field and occupations. Universities or colleges, which will supply students with full academic and theoretical lessons, leading them to achieve higher levels of knowledge and even gain an insight into fields that students are studying and oriented to. Individuals who study atin prestigious universities and colleges will become potential employees for companies, enhancing their opportunities and getting plus points in the job market. Not only knowledge, getting a college degree makes chances for students to make friends, strengthen social bonds, and extend their friendship circle. Collaborationcollaboration with peers, seniors, and professors enhances their teamwork, communication skills, and leadership skills, and generates favourable time for observation, inquiry, and motivation. Besides that, there are jobs that highly require a degree and a long process of study, such as doctor, engineer, or scientist. For instance, to become a doctor, students need to achieve bachelor degrees and master degrees, which take seven years to get. Although their study path can be hard and determined, waiting for them is a potential career path and promising professional life.

Conclusion

In conclusion, both starting work early and pursuing higher education have their own advantages. However, I believe that attending university provides a more comprehensive foundation for a successful career and personal development.

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