Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5.5
Overall Band
6
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are several areas that need improvement, especially in coherence, cohesion, and grammatical accuracy. The task response is somewhat balanced, but the arguments could be more developed and clearly articulated.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument. However, the reasoning lacks depth and there is a need for more detailed examples to support the claims. Some points are repeated and not well-explained, which weakens the argument.
The essay has an organizational structure, but there are issues with paragraph development and logical progression. Some ideas are not well-connected, and transition between points is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate.
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is an attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but overall, the range is limited. Some word choices are inappropriate or awkward, impacting clarity.
There are frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, punctuation mistakes, and inappropriate capitalizations. These errors sometimes obscure meaning and make the essay difficult to read.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
Some people belive that the investment in space missions is unrealistic and there are more necessary to cover the cost of other fields. In my opinion, i claim the opposite view.
The introduction presents the topic and gives an opinion, but it lacks clarity due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The thesis statement could be more precise.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are still some reason make the space programmes are being protested. There are other more pressing issues on Earth that require attention such as education, health care and poverty. If the government raise fund for these areas, the quality of lives for its residents would be improved, making a better and more vigorous nation. Moreover Space research often require decades of experiments and colossal sums of money to carry on. Also, the success of such campaigns are unguaranteed due to the complexity and mystery of the universe. Therefore, the fund invested in research programs for space expeditions could be a waste of human resources and financial resources.
This paragraph presents some arguments against space exploration funding. However, the ideas are not well-developed and there are numerous grammatical errors. The transitions between ideas are unclear, and the paragraph lacks coherence.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, i still believe that making a research on space still maintain practical benefits. Space researchs can be a solution to current problems such as overpopulation or resource depletion. If scientists can find a habitable planet, it could open up possibilities for mankind to migrate to that planet whose resources are plentiful. Moreover, it also helps solve global environmental problems. Space exploration technology can be beneficial for addressing problems by analyzing global warming data, monitoring wildfires, making predictions of weather. For example, many satellites from the orbit can predict the natural on Earth to decrease the potential of destruction by these types of factors.
This paragraph attempts to present the benefits of space exploration. However, the ideas are not fully developed and are somewhat repetitive. The paragraph lacks clear examples and the grammar is inconsistent, which affects the clarity.
Conclusion
In conclusion, some people believe that making space researchs are justified while others and also my opinion claim that space missions are practical.
The conclusion attempts to summarize the essay but is unclear and lacks a strong closing statement. There are grammatical errors and the sentence structure is awkward.
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