Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, supporting the view that space exploration is beneficial. However, the essay lacks depth in argumentation and development of ideas. The structure is clear but could benefit from more cohesive links between ideas. Vocabulary is adequate but lacks sophistication, and there are some grammatical errors.
The essay addresses the task by providing reasons for supporting space exploration, mentioning its technological benefits and potential to solve global problems. However, the arguments are somewhat superficial and could be developed further. Additionally, a clearer stance on the balance between space exploration and addressing Earthly issues would strengthen the response.
The essay is organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. The essay could benefit from better use of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion and provide a more logical flow of ideas.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but it lacks variety and precision. There are instances of repetition, and some word choices are simplistic. Greater lexical sophistication and variety would improve the essay.
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors such as sentence fragments and incorrect verb forms. These errors do not impede understanding but do affect the overall impression of grammatical accuracy.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
Many individuals question whether the funds used for creating technology for going into space are a good use of money. They argue that there are better things to spend the money on. While it's true that there are important problems on Earth, I believe that space exploration and its technological development bring valuable benefits
The introduction presents the topic and the writer's position. However, it lacks a clear thesis statement outlining the main arguments that will be discussed. A more explicit preview of the essay's structure would improve clarity.
Body paragraph 1
Space exploration has actually given us many things we use every day. For example, the GPS which we use for navigation. Also, weather forecasts which help us plan our lives, are much better because of satellites that were sent into space.
This paragraph provides examples of the benefits of space exploration. However, it could be strengthened by explaining how these examples support the overall argument. The sentences are somewhat disjointed and could benefit from more cohesive links.
Body paragraph 2
It's important to remember that space exploration can also help us solve some of the world's biggest problems. Studying climate change from space gives us a wide knowledge about the planet. Space exploration can also help us find new resources. However, it is also true that there are pressing social issues that need more funding. Problems like poverty and hunger are very serious.
This paragraph attempts to discuss the dual benefits and challenges of space exploration. It introduces the idea of balancing space exploration with solving Earthly issues, but it lacks depth and specific examples. The paragraph could be more cohesive with smoother transitions.
Conclusion
The challenge is to find a balance. We need to solve the problems on Earth, but we also need to continue exploring space. Scientific collaboration between countries in space exploration shows that working together can lead to great things. It's important to use money wisely, so that we can both improve life on Earth and learn more about space. In conclusion, I assumed that space exploration is important. It has given us useful technology and can help us with global problems. By carefully managing our resources, we can both solve problems here on Earth and continue to explore the universe.
The conclusion summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of space exploration. However, it introduces new ideas, such as scientific collaboration, that were not discussed in the main body. The conclusion should focus on summarizing the arguments made in the essay.
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