Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view on the topic and acknowledges both sides of the argument. However, it lacks depth in the argumentation and could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the claims. The essay structure is clear, but the coherence between ideas could be improved. The vocabulary is generally adequate but not very varied, and there are some grammatical inaccuracies.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the benefits of space exploration and the need to address social issues on Earth. However, the argument lacks depth, and more examples or evidence could strengthen the position. The conclusion reiterates the main points but does not offer a strong resolution to the question posed.
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the connections between ideas are sometimes weak, and transitions between points could be smoother. The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more effective use of cohesive devices.
The vocabulary used is appropriate, but there is a lack of variety and sophistication. Some phrases are repetitive, and there are missed opportunities to use more precise or advanced vocabulary. Overall, the lexical resource is adequate but could be improved with a wider range of expressions.
The essay contains some grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms and sentence structures. These do not impede understanding but do detract from the overall quality. The range of grammatical structures is somewhat limited, and more complex sentences could enhance the writing.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
Many individuals question whether the funds used for creating technology for going into space are a good use of money. They argue that there are better things to spend the money on. While it's true that there are important problems on Earth, I believe that space exploration and its technological development bring valuable benefits
The introduction presents the topic and states a position. However, the thesis statement could be more clearly articulated, and the introduction could be more engaging to set up the essay.
Body paragraph 1
Space exploration has actually given us many things we use every day. For example, the GPS which we use for navigation. Also, weather forecasts which help us plan our lives, are much better because of satellites that were sent into space. It's important to remember that space exploration can also help us solve some of the world's biggest problems. Studying climate change from space gives us a wide knowledge about the planet. Space exploration can also help us find new resources. However, it is also true that there are pressing social issues that need more funding. Problems like poverty and hunger are very serious.
This paragraph covers several points, but it lacks focus and depth. The examples provided are relevant but could be expanded with more detail. The paragraph could be split into two for better clarity and to separate the discussion of space benefits and social issues.
Body paragraph 2
The challenge is to find a balance. We need to solve the problems on Earth, but we also need to continue exploring space. Scientific collaboration between countries in space exploration shows that working together can lead to great things. It's important to use money wisely, so that we can both improve life on Earth and learn more about space.
This paragraph attempts to present a balanced view, but it remains quite general. The concept of balance is introduced, but it is not thoroughly explored or supported with examples. Including specific instances of international cooperation could strengthen the argument.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I assumed that space exploration is important. It has given us useful technology and can help us with global problems. By carefully managing our resources, we can both solve problems here on Earth and continue to explore the universe.
The conclusion summarizes the main points but lacks a strong closing statement. It could be improved by restating the thesis more clearly and suggesting a more decisive stance or solution.
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