Evaluation for Question #8580

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Question

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Your Essay

In most countries, the number of students enroll in subjects related to science are becoming decrease day by day. The factor behind this phenomenon and the influences on society will be analyzed below.
First of all, the most significant reason for this problem is that complexity and inadequacy of job prospects. One of the primary causes students are not choosing science departments is the difficulty of the subjects. To specific, they are often considered more challenging than other aspects due to various requirements such as time, financial independence, and profession skills in this discipline. For example, if you want to get a degree and graduate with extreme qualifications in such fields like medical, you must follow at least seven years of learning, which people believe is a waste of time with a huge financial investment to pursue higher education.
Another contributing factor of the decline in the number of enrollments is an increasing demand in career opportunities. In most developing countries, graduates often struggle to find stable job with great income compared to other occupations such as influencers, content creators... This lack of career prospect discourage people from choosing science-related majors and opting for another major.
As a result, the decline of scientists has considerable implications for society. If this issue was truly happen, there might be a need for more skilled professional in science and technology as fewer students apply for this field in order to avoid slow economic growth. This could lead to a lack of new ideas and advancements as well as a potential rely on foreign talent and being overwhelmed in the global market. In addition, with fewer innovations and discoveries, it is hard for the government to deal with urgent situation like COVID-19.
In general, the underlying reason people are becoming less interested in science due to the complexity of learning progress and concern about the job prospect in the future. This problem may lead to pressure on the current workforce and out of date innovation for society.

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5.5

Overall Band

Task Response

Coherence

Lexical

Grammar

The essay addresses the task, but there are significant issues with grammar, lexical resource, and coherence. The ideas are presented, but not fully developed or supported with clear examples. Additionally, there are frequent grammatical errors and limitations in vocabulary usage that impede understanding.

The essay provides a response to the task by identifying reasons for the decline in students choosing science subjects and discussing potential effects on society. However, the reasons and effects are not fully developed, and some claims lack supporting evidence. The conclusion summarizes the main points but does not offer any solutions or further insights.

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is a lack of clear topic sentences and logical progression of ideas within paragraphs. Some ideas are not clearly linked, and the essay does not use a wide range of cohesive devices effectively.

The vocabulary is limited and sometimes inappropriate. There are frequent errors in word choice and usage, which affect clarity and precision of meaning. The essay does not demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary.

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors often impede understanding. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, which limits the grammatical range of the essay.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Introduction

The introduction presents a clear thesis statement, but it contains grammatical errors, such as 'the number of students enroll' and 'are becoming decrease.' These need correction for clarity.

Body paragraph 1

First of all, the most significant reason for this problem is that complexity and inadequacy of job prospects. One of the primary causes students are not choosing science departments is the difficulty of the subjects. To specific, they are often considered more challenging than other aspects due to various requirements such as time, financial independence, and profession skills in this discipline. For example, if you want to get a degree and graduate with extreme qualifications in such fields like medical, you must follow at least seven years of learning, which people believe is a waste of time with a huge financial investment to pursue higher education.

The paragraph identifies complexity and job prospects as reasons, but it lacks coherence and contains grammatical errors. More development and examples would strengthen the argument.

Body paragraph 2

Another contributing factor of the decline in the number of enrollments is an increasing demand in career opportunities. In most developing countries, graduates often struggle to find stable job with great income compared to other occupations such as influencers, content creators... This lack of career prospect discourage people from choosing science-related majors and opting for another major.

The paragraph introduces another reason but lacks clarity and coherence. There are grammatical errors, and the examples provided are vague and lack depth.

Conclusion

As a result, the decline of scientists has considerable implications for society. If this issue was truly happen, there might be a need for more skilled professional in science and technology as fewer students apply for this field in order to avoid slow economic growth. This could lead to a lack of new ideas and advancements as well as a potential rely on foreign talent and being overwhelmed in the global market. In addition, with fewer innovations and discoveries, it is hard for the government to deal with urgent situation like COVID-19.

The conclusion summarizes the main points but introduces new ideas that are not fully developed. It contains grammatical errors, and the new ideas are not clearly linked to the body paragraphs.

Evaluation for Question #8580

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

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Evaluation for Question #8580

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

(+84) 0383-096-717

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN