Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
Question
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
You can edit this text for your reference. Changes will not be saved.
5.5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5.5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay attempts to address the causes and effects of the decline in students choosing science subjects at university. The writer provides some relevant ideas, but the essay lacks clarity and coherence. There are frequent grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures, which hinder understanding. The argument could be more logically organized, and ideas need to be developed further.
The essay addresses the task but lacks depth and clarity in exploring the reasons and effects. Some ideas are relevant, but they are not developed in detail. The response could benefit from a clearer structure and more specific examples or evidence to support the claims.
The essay has a basic structure, but there is a lack of clear progression of ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are awkward or missing, making it hard to follow the argument. The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and better linking between ideas.
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. Some attempts at using more complex vocabulary are evident, but there are frequent errors in word choice and usage that obscure meaning. More precise and varied language would improve the clarity and richness of the essay.
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, including incorrect verb forms, awkward phrasing, and issues with subject-verb agreement. These errors affect the readability and clarity of the essay. More accurate grammatical structures are needed to improve communication.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
Introduction
Today shows a decline in number of scholarships who prefer studying in science-related field than ever through many countries. This essay will examine the causes as well as the main effects related to this tendency
The introduction attempts to introduce the topic but contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. It does not clearly state the problem or outline the main points that will be discussed.
Body paragraph 1
To begin with, this is largely due to a multitude of students can struggle with the exorbitant tuition fees in universities. Regarding facilities, those tertiary education work in science field need to invest finance for demanding of practical in students’s learn. For instance, some private universities in VietNam which follow the process of learning as same as worldwide will require exorbitant charges, students then can find their financial burden while loan interest now quite high. Furthermore, science subjects related to individuals vocation mostly require long-course to graduate after as those jobs in these kind of field demanding a strong foundation in complex theories. As a result, learners must cover a wide range of fundamental subjects before the harder, their learning process is organized hierarchically and need students learn step by step. A case point is students in Viet Nam who make a decision to graduate in economic college will need to study in higher education for 4 years whereas medical universities end up from 6-8 years.
The paragraph presents some reasons why students may avoid science subjects, but it is difficult to follow due to poor sentence structure and grammar errors. Ideas are not clearly linked, and examples could be more specific and relevant.
Body paragraph 2
The outcome of this tendency is that a shortage of engineering and science professionals. People who specialized in the science field have a profound impact on the innovation of the country, their researches contribute to whole growth in many faces. If any countries do not have professionals in science-related field such as engineers, doctors, etc..there will not extent a rivalry which promote citizens to work harder and just depend on other countries' ideas or those inventions that have already been found. Besides, the decline in the number of scientist also have a consequence of decreasing possibilities in human’s growth. For instance, artificial intelligent depicts scenarios which human can not set the pace of robots and the world will one day be uncontrollable.
This paragraph attempts to discuss the effects of the decline in science students but lacks clarity and coherence. There are many grammatical errors, and the points are not well-developed or logically organized. The examples are vague and not effectively used to support the argument.
Conclusion
In conclusion,the inadequate enrollments in science universities stem from the need for time and related financial expenses to obtain a degree in science. This problem may lead to a lack of professions that will delay the innovation of any country that can not escalate the economic development.
The conclusion summarizes the main points but is very brief and oversimplified. It repeats information rather than providing a closing insight or a compelling final thought. More clarity and depth are needed in the concluding remarks.
Sign In
[nextend_social_login]
or sign in with email
The password must have a minimum of 8 characters of numbers and letters, contain at least 1 capital letter
Cô Huyền sẽ liên hệ trực tiếp với bạn qua email hoặc điện thoại trong 1-2 ngày tới để trao đổi cụ thể hơn về việc học.
Hoặc bạn cũng có thể chủ động liên hệ với cô giáo theo thông tin dưới đây để được xếp lớp sớm nhất.
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Xin cám ơn.
ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN
Để đăng ký học IELTS lớp cô Huyền, vui lòng điền form dưới đây để được tư vấn. Hoặc gọi điện trực tiếp cho cô giáo theo số +84.0383.096.717 để giữ chỗ.
Để đăng ký nhanh nhất, vui lòng liên hệ trực tiếp cho cô Huyền theo số:
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội