Evaluation for Question #8580

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Question

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Your Essay

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5.5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5.5
Lexical
5
Grammar

The essay attempts to address the causes and effects of the decline in students choosing science subjects at university. The writer provides some relevant ideas, but the essay lacks clarity and coherence. There are frequent grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures, which hinder understanding. The argument could be more logically organized, and ideas need to be developed further.

The essay addresses the task but lacks depth and clarity in exploring the reasons and effects. Some ideas are relevant, but they are not developed in detail. The response could benefit from a clearer structure and more specific examples or evidence to support the claims.

The essay has a basic structure, but there is a lack of clear progression of ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are awkward or missing, making it hard to follow the argument. The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and better linking between ideas.

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. Some attempts at using more complex vocabulary are evident, but there are frequent errors in word choice and usage that obscure meaning. More precise and varied language would improve the clarity and richness of the essay.

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, including incorrect verb forms, awkward phrasing, and issues with subject-verb agreement. These errors affect the readability and clarity of the essay. More accurate grammatical structures are needed to improve communication.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Introduction

Today shows a decline in number of scholarships who prefer studying in science-related field than ever through many countries. This essay will examine the causes as well as the main effects related to this tendency

Body paragraph 1

To begin with, this is largely due to a multitude of students can struggle with the exorbitant tuition fees in universities. Regarding facilities, those tertiary education work in science field need to invest finance for demanding of practical in students’s learn. For instance, some private universities in VietNam which follow the process of learning as same as worldwide will require exorbitant charges, students then can find their financial burden while loan interest now quite high. Furthermore, science subjects related to individuals vocation mostly require long-course to graduate after as those jobs in these kind of field demanding a strong foundation in complex theories. As a result, learners must cover a wide range of fundamental subjects before the harder, their learning process is organized hierarchically and need students learn step by step. A case point is students in Viet Nam who make a decision to graduate in economic college will need to study in higher education for 4 years whereas medical universities end up from 6-8 years.

Body paragraph 2

The outcome of this tendency is that a shortage of engineering and science professionals. People who specialized in the science field have a profound impact on the innovation of the country, their researches contribute to whole growth in many faces. If any countries do not have professionals in science-related field such as engineers, doctors, etc..there will not extent a rivalry which promote citizens to work harder and just depend on other countries' ideas or those inventions that have already been found. Besides, the decline in the number of scientist also have a consequence of decreasing possibilities in human’s growth. For instance, artificial intelligent depicts scenarios which human can not set the pace of robots and the world will one day be uncontrollable.

Conclusion

In conclusion,the inadequate enrollments in science universities stem from the need for time and related financial expenses to obtain a degree in science. This problem may lead to a lack of professions that will delay the innovation of any country that can not escalate the economic development.

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