Evaluation for Question #8580

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Question

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Your Essay

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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar

The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons for the decline in science students and its effects on society. However, the ideas could be developed more fully, and there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. While the vocabulary is varied, there are inaccuracies in word choice and grammar, which slightly hinder clarity.

The essay adequately covers the task by discussing both the reasons for the decline in students choosing science subjects and its effects on society. However, more examples and deeper analysis could strengthen the argument.

The essay is logically organized, but some sentences and ideas lack clear connections. Transitions between ideas are present but could be improved for better flow. Some points are not fully developed, which affects overall cohesion.

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies in word choice (e.g., 'unpromising careers'). There is room for more precise and varied expressions to enhance the lexical resource.

The essay contains various grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence structure (e.g., 'hindering students to pay attention'). These errors occasionally impede understanding.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Introduction

Recently, the number of students pursuing science subjects in higher education in many countries has witnessed a decline. In this essay, the underlying factors lead to this trend and its impact on society will be exposed clearly.

Body paragraph 1

To begin with, the decrease is not random, the main contributing factors are the characteristics of these subjects and the way they are taught. Compared to other fields, science related subjects always have the higher demand in intellectual and skill such as memorizations and calculation. Difficult formulas, principles and theories made this field become boring, impractical, hindering students to pay attention to these subjects. Uninspiring, uninteresting lectures and knowledge are the first obstacles for shoolers, the second one is about how these perceptions are delivered by teachers. Science subjects require special teaching methods that can create interest and help students to interpret the knowledge easier. Unfortunately, these subjects are often taught in a theory-based way, a lesson full of knowledge and abstract terms. Moreover, the lack of facilities in many countries lead to fewer chances to do experiments, making the subjects unrealistic, and learning become useless. In Vietnam, many schools do not have fully equipped science laboratories, making it hard for students to understand the insight of theories, formulas or principles.

Body paragraph 2

Additionally, not only the struggles during the studying process, science jobs are also unpromising careers due to its low salary, difficulty in securing stable jobs. The insufficient workers and expertises result in severe consequences for the country’s economy. Science-related subjects play important roles in the development of a country, catering the needs of society and contributing to the growth of the economy. As a result, inadequate qualified workers may become an obstacle that the government needs to address. One of the major impacts of this issue is the slowdown in technological advancements and industrial progress. Without the adequate professionals, the country may need to face the struggle in innovation and competing globally. This can lead to increased reliance on foreign workers, which is both expensive and limit the job opportunities for local people. Moreover, due to the decrease, the burden that current professionals, healthcare workers, doctors or engineers undermine become overwhelming. Consequently, new inventions and discoveries turn into a dramatic shortage, alarming the governments with its serious impacts. A clear example of this problem was seen during the covid 19 pandemic, where countries with a shortage of medical professionals and scientific researchers struggled to respond effectively. It not only affected the public society but also disrupted industries and halted the economic growth in these countries. In contrast, though the pandemic still impacted, countries with strong scientific expertise, such as United States, China or India quickly recovered and came back to the global economic competition.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the decline in students studying science is caused by its challenging nature, uninspiring teaching methods, and concerns about career prospects. This issue leads to serious consequences, including labor shortages and slower technological development.

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