Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
Question
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay addresses the task well, providing reasons for the decrease in students choosing science subjects and discussing the effects on society. However, it could benefit from more detailed examples and a clearer structure. Some grammatical errors and unclear expressions affect the overall clarity and coherence.
The essay effectively discusses both the reasons for the decline in science subject enrollment and the societal effects. It covers relevant points such as the perceived difficulty of science subjects and the lengthy education process. However, it could improve by providing more specific examples and expanding on the effects section.
The essay is logically organized, with paragraphs addressing specific points. However, the transition between ideas could be improved for better flow. The essay could also benefit from a clearer topic sentence in the second body paragraph and a more concise conclusion.
The vocabulary range is adequate but not particularly varied. There are some awkward expressions and word choices that affect clarity. Improved precision and variety in vocabulary could enhance the essay.
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms and sentence structures, which impact readability. Improving grammatical accuracy and sentence variety would elevate the quality of the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
Introduction
In recent years, many nations have witnessed a shortage of learners in science-related fields. In this essay, I am going to examine the underlying reasons behind this trend and its consequences.
The introduction clearly states the issue and outlines the essay's structure. However, it could be more engaging by providing a brief context or background.
Body paragraph 1
To start with, it is undeniable that science subjects such as maths or physics are often considered more challenging than the others. These majors require lots of memorization of formulas, theories, and principles as well as an understanding of complex and abstract concepts. Nevertheless, science classes tend to focus on theoretical knowledge rather than interactive activities. For instance, in Vietnam, there are little chances for experiments or practice due to the lack of facilities and equipment in most schools. This results in a feeling of boredom and confusion in many students, leading to an increasing number of them choose not to pursue a degree in these majors in higher education. Another contributing factor of this issue is the long learning process. It will cost a medical student at least 7 years to be qualified while this duration is typically 4 years in other majors like marketing or business. By the time they graduate and are struggling to find an apprenticeship, their peers have already secured a stable job.
This paragraph identifies key reasons why students may avoid science subjects. It provides examples, such as the situation in Vietnam, to support its points. However, clarity could be improved, particularly in the explanation of the long learning process.
Body paragraph 2
The outcome of this problem for a country is a decline in the number of skilled workers employed in many dominant industries such as technology and engineering. Therefore, this nation will have to rely on the human resources of others, triggering a loss in competitiveness in the global market. Moreover, an inadequation of scientists in a country means a lack of inventions and discoveries, contributing to slower economic growth as it might have to import technological advances with colossal expenses.
The paragraph effectively outlines the effects on society, focusing on economic impacts. However, it could benefit from more detailed examples or statistics to support these claims. The explanation could be more concise and clearer.
Conclusion
To sum up, the insufficient of students signing up for science majors in universities and colleges due to the difficulty and extended education period may hinder a nation’s development, particularly in economic.
The conclusion summarizes the main points but contains grammatical errors and lacks clarity. It should briefly restate the key reasons and effects discussed in the essay more clearly.
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