Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
Question
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay presents a basic understanding of the topic with some relevant points. However, it lacks depth and clarity in argumentation and contains several language errors. The structure is somewhat organized but needs improvement in coherence and cohesion, as well as in the development of ideas.
The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons for the decline in students choosing science subjects and its effects on society. However, the analysis is superficial and lacks depth. More elaboration and specific examples could strengthen the argument. The conclusion does not adequately summarize the essay's main points.
The essay has a basic organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are issues with paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. Transitions between ideas are weak, and the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences and better linking of ideas.
The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and awkward phrasing. More sophisticated and varied vocabulary could enhance the essay's effectiveness.
There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the essay, including issues with verb forms, sentence structure, punctuation, and agreement. These errors detract from the clarity and coherence of the essay. A greater range of complex sentence structures could improve the overall grammatical range.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
Introduction
Nowadays, the number of students picking science subjects is declining in many countries. In this essay, I will analyze the contributing factors of this issue and the impact on humanity.
The introduction provides a brief overview of the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement. It could be improved by specifying the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
Body paragraph 1
To begin with, science subjects are not easy to learn due to the amount of knowledge that they consist of. To be more specific, these subjects require lots of memorization, formulas, theories, and logical thinking ability, which discourage students from selecting a career in such fields. Moreover, the unsuitable teaching methods and lack of facilities are also the reason for the decline science subjects are taught in theory based without practiscing so that it makes student feel bored. For example, in Viet Nam, many schools do not have fully equipped laboratories, making it hard for students to have a chance to learn in a realistic way. This makes studying science a less preferable option for numerous high schoolers.
The paragraph identifies some reasons for the decline in students choosing science subjects. However, the ideas are not well-developed, and there are grammatical errors that affect clarity. The example of Vietnam could be expanded to provide more insight.
Body paragraph 2
This decline in the number of scientists resulted in serve consequences for the economy. Skilled workers, engineering, and science professions will be inadequate. Many high industries rely on highly trained professionals; if fewer students study science, it will be much more challenging for these areas to develop. Besides, the lack of science student will lead to the lack of new inventions and discoveries, which makes that country be left behind in the developed race. For instance, if a epidemic like COVID-19 appears again, the number of deads will increase.
The paragraph attempts to discuss the effects on society but lacks coherence and logical progression. There are numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The example related to COVID-19 is relevant but not fully explained.
Conclusion
In conclusion, science plays an important role in our life and the decline in the students of this field will lead to serious problem.
The conclusion is brief and does not adequately summarize the main points of the essay. It would benefit from a clearer restatement of the thesis and a summary of the key arguments presented.
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