Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees. Some people believe this is necessary, but others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Question
Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees. Some people believe this is necessary, but others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, there are several areas for improvement. The essay lacks balance in discussing both views, has issues with coherence and cohesion, and contains numerous grammatical errors. The vocabulary used is sometimes inappropriate or unclear, affecting the overall clarity of the arguments.
The essay attempts to address both views and provides an opinion. However, the discussion of the views is not evenly balanced, and the opinion is not clearly articulated. The reasons and examples provided are somewhat general and lack depth, which weakens the argument.
The essay lacks clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. The use of linking words is inconsistent and sometimes inappropriate. There is a need for better organization of ideas to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
The vocabulary is limited and sometimes used inaccurately, which affects the clarity of the essay. There are some attempts at using less common vocabulary, but these are not always successful. More precise and varied vocabulary is needed to convey the arguments effectively.
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with punctuation, capitalization, and sentence structure. These errors often make the essay difficult to read and understand. Greater attention to grammatical accuracy and more complex sentence structures are needed.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees. Some people believe this is necessary, but others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Introduction
It is undoubtedly that leaders of huge corporations receive much higher salaries than their staffs . While some consider this an essence of doing business. Others argue that this is a bias. In this essay i will examine both sides of this payment difference and provide my opinion
The introduction provides a general overview of the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement. It contains some grammatical errors, such as the misuse of 'undoubtedly' and the incorrect use of 'i'.
Body paragraph 1
In recent years, it has become common for various corporations to offer significantly higher income dor personnel holding leadership positions than their subordinates, While some deem this preferential treatment,others including me, argue that it indeed is a practical approach to maintaining organizational success
This paragraph introduces the idea of preferential treatment but does not fully develop it. The argument is not clearly linked to the task question, and there are grammatical errors, such as incorrect capitalization and punctuation.
Body paragraph 2
On the one hand it is true that the compensation gap is somewhat staggering in an unfair manner in many industries For instance, Ceos of fortune 500 companies often make headlines about receiving high salaries and huge benefit package , including bonuses and company shares which could amount to millions of usd per year. In contrast , their staff usually only receives much fewer than them. This is unrealistic because Top executives do not contribute hundreds of times more effort than their subordinates. While All full-time employees work similar hours , with a limit of 24 hours , they are always paid less than the boss. As a result, This is unfair, considering effort and time commitment.
The paragraph discusses the unfairness of the compensation gap but contains several grammatical errors and lacks clear structure. The argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples and clearer reasoning.
Conclusion
On the other hand , it is crucial for organizational success and Also the Responsibility of the leader, and motivation for others.As Directors invest in the company and are responsible for the organization success or failure. Therefore,Their roles are significantly more pivotal. Furthermore, this Motivates employees and attracts talent . Indeed, High pay means that hard work and dedication are rewarded, inspiring employees to perform better and stay with the company. moreover, Competitive salaries attract highly skilled professionals, increasing the company’s chance of success. as a result, the income contributes to the development of company
The conclusion attempts to summarize the argument but lacks clarity and coherence. It introduces new ideas rather than summarizing the essay's main points. The paragraph contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues.
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