Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
7
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a clear position in response to the prompt, arguing effectively that environmental protection is a shared responsibility between governments and individuals. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of how individuals can make a significant impact. The coherence and cohesion are generally good, though some ideas could be better organized. Vocabulary usage is appropriate for the task, but there are some errors in grammatical accuracy and expression.
The essay addresses the task by presenting a clear opinion and supporting arguments. The writer provides reasons and examples, though the examples could be more detailed and varied to strengthen the argument. There is a balanced discussion of both the government's and individuals' roles, but more depth on how individual actions collectively contribute to environmental protection would enhance the response.
The essay is logically organized, with clear paragraphs and appropriate linking words. However, the ideas could be more clearly connected, especially between paragraphs. Transition between discussing governmental and individual responsibilities could be smoother. Some points, such as the need for collective responsibility, could be more clearly tied back to the main thesis.
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with some good examples of topic-specific language. However, there are moments where word choices could be more precise or varied to enhance the clarity and impact of the argument. Some minor errors in word forms and collocations are present.
The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures, but there are frequent errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and some awkward phrasing. These errors occasionally interfere with meaning. Greater accuracy and variety in sentence construction would improve the score.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
Some people believe that protecting the environment is the duty of governments, not the responsibility of individuals because they can only do little. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this idea, because the responsibility of protecting the environment is everyone's.
The introduction clearly states the writer's position in response to the prompt, but it could be more engaging and provide a brief outline of the main points to be discussed.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are some serious issues that only governments can deal with such as global warming, prolonged droughts and violent storms. These problems often take large financial resources or a highly professional team to deal with so an individual cannot face them. Therefore, people can let the government handle such big problems.
This paragraph effectively discusses the government's role in handling large-scale environmental issues. However, it could be improved by providing more specific examples or evidence to support the claims.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, people also need to have a common responsibility in protecting the environment. Recycling is one of the popular ways to protect the environment especially while the amount of plastic waste has a rapid growth everyday, which pollutes the environment because of long decomposition time. For example, people can recycle plastics into vase, watering can or plant pot which help life without spending too much money. Besides, there are several ideas for protecting the environment such as buying energy saving devices, planting more trees, and throwing garbage in the right place. Environmental protection is the common responsibility of both the government and the people because if only one side protects, it will not be possible to improve environmental problems comprehensively. For example, if the government issues a law prohibiting indiscriminate deforestation but people still deliberately do it, related situations such as landslides, water shortages... will continue to occur, affecting both the state budget for repairs and people's lives.
This paragraph provides a good discussion of individual responsibilities and offers practical examples. However, it could be more concise, and some ideas could be better developed or supported with data or additional examples.
Conclusion
In conclusion, with the above opinions, I believe that environmental protection is always the common responsibility of both the government and the people.
The conclusion effectively restates the main argument, but it could be strengthened by summarizing the key points discussed in the essay. It could also offer a closing thought or call to action to leave a stronger impression.
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