Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both the roles of politicians and individuals in environmental protection. However, the argument could be more balanced and cohesive. The essay lacks clear topic sentences, and there is some awkward phrasing and grammar issues. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, but the introduction could be clearer in presenting the thesis.
The essay provides a relevant response to the task by discussing both the roles of politicians and individuals. However, the argument could be more balanced, as there is a stronger focus on the role of the government. The essay could benefit from more specific examples of individual actions and their impact.
The essay is coherent but lacks cohesive devices that link ideas smoothly. The paragraphs are not clearly linked, and the essay lacks clear topic sentences. The use of cohesive devices such as 'however' and 'in addition' is present but could be more varied and effective.
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some awkward expressions and incorrect word choices. Phrases like 'hold import' and 'back lasting firms' could be expressed more naturally. There is a need for more precise and varied vocabulary to convey ideas more effectively.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures that affect clarity. Issues include incorrect article usage ('a reducing of carbon emissions'), awkward phrasing ('feature little sway'), and missing conjunctions. More complex sentence structures could be attempted with greater accuracy.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
The matter of protecting the environment is a much-argued subject. Some people claim that it must be a job for politicians, given people feature little sway. Although I realize governments hold import for enacting ecological policies into action across a large scope, I think people hold a key role, too.
The introduction introduces the topic and presents a thesis, but it could be clearer. The phrase 'given people feature little sway' is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. The thesis statement could be made more explicit.
Body paragraph 1
Governments possess the wide-ranging power to introduce specific regulations, firmly enforce laws, along with fund many sustainable initiatives. The options toward them are factory waste limits, clean power sources investments, and backing toward long-term methods through rewards. For example, the introduction of several carbon taxes and bans on many single-use plastics throughout multiple countries has considerably reduced ecological damage. The many different steps are too big for people to do themselves and must have support from leaders and authorities.
This paragraph discusses the role of governments effectively but lacks a clear topic sentence. The examples provided are relevant, but the paragraph could be more cohesive with better transitions between sentences. Phrases like 'options toward them' and 'backing toward long-term methods' could be clearer.
Body paragraph 2
However, dismissing the role of many people altogether would be a serious mistake. Small actions, when joined, can have a large result. Like, a reduction of waste, a conservation of water, and a selection among green travel options can aid within a reducing of carbon emissions. People can sway politicians through advocacy of tougher ecological rules. In addition, they can back lasting firms. People can cause shifts in society when they act responsibly. They can also encourage policies good for the environment.
This paragraph provides a good counterargument but lacks coherence. The sentences are disjointed, and the ideas could be better organized. The phrase 'can aid within a reducing of carbon emissions' is grammatically incorrect. The paragraph could benefit from a clearer structure and more cohesive links between ideas.
Conclusion
In the end, while many politicians possess the power of implementing certain large-scale changes, individual people also play a major role in ecological protection. To successfully handle ecological problems, a shared effort of governments and of people is required.
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay. It reiterates the importance of both governments and individuals in addressing environmental issues. The sentence structure is clear, and the conclusion provides a satisfactory closure to the essay.
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