Evaluation for Question #8586

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your Essay

Problems revolving around environmental problems have sparked a heated debate about whether who are to be responsible for nature’s preservation, some state that government are those to take responsibility, not citizens as their contribution are to insignificant. Even though, authorities sure do play a crucial role, it is not valid to not take into account the communities’s contribution. This essay will argue that both politicians and individuals must contribute to ecosystem protection, though political action is somewhat more impactful. 
Granted, government figures have the ability to create and enforce law that can regulate industries, control pollution and promote sustainable solution. First, they can implement laws that can leave great impact on the ecosystem. With their power, policies like plastic ban, taxes imposed on companies that have an impact on the environment can be published. Furthermore, huge environmental issues like deforestation, climate changes or air pollution required not only national but also international cooperation, which only politicians can efficiently achieve. Without government figure’s intervention, business may overlook their harm done on environment and prioritize only their profit.
However, to say that residents don't play a role is not justified. First, civilians can alter their own choices, which can have great impact on environmental reservation if done on large scale. Personal preferences, like trash filtering, the utilization of public transports and conserving energy, can collectively, make vital differences. Additionally , the public can also influence lawmakers and businesses. People are able to advocate for changes through the pressurization to government officials and boycotting certain companies. Reasons above explain why we should not neglect citizens’s ability to protect the environment.
In conclusion, while the leaders sure have larger influence on environmental management through their policies. Their action, when combine with the whole communities, produce the best solutions in the long run.

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Overall Band

Task Response

Coherence

Lexical

Grammar

The essay presents a balanced view on the responsibility of environmental protection, acknowledging the roles of both politicians and individuals. However, it lacks clarity and precision in language at times, which affects the overall coherence. The argument is logical, but some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing detract from the quality of expression.

The essay addresses the task by presenting a clear stance that both politicians and individuals have roles in environmental protection. However, the argument could be developed more fully, with more specific examples and elaboration on how individuals can influence environmental policy. The conclusion is consistent with the main body but could be more decisive.

The essay is organized with clear paragraphs, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, affecting the flow of the essay. Cohesion is maintained, but the essay would benefit from clearer linking words and phrases.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there are occasional inaccuracies and awkward expressions. Some word choices are imprecise, and there is repetition of certain terms. Greater lexical variety and precision would enhance the essay.

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement mistakes, incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures. These errors detract from the essay's clarity and readability. More complex sentence structures could be employed more accurately.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Introduction

The introduction outlines the debate and presents a clear thesis. However, it contains grammatical errors, such as 'government are' and 'contribution are to insignificant.' The thesis statement could be more precise.

Body paragraph 1

Granted, government figures have the ability to create and enforce law that can regulate industries, control pollution and promote sustainable solution. First, they can implement laws that can leave great impact on the ecosystem. With their power, policies like plastic ban, taxes imposed on companies that have an impact on the environment can be published. Furthermore, huge environmental issues like deforestation, climate changes or air pollution required not only national but also international cooperation, which only politicians can efficiently achieve. Without government figure’s intervention, business may overlook their harm done on environment and prioritize only their profit.

This paragraph clearly explains the role of governments, but it contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'create and enforce law' and 'huge environmental issues... required.' The argument is logical but could be supported by more concrete examples.

Body paragraph 2

However, to say that residents don't play a role is not justified. First, civilians can alter their own choices, which can have great impact on environmental reservation if done on large scale. Personal preferences, like trash filtering, the utilization of public transports and conserving energy, can collectively, make vital differences. Additionally , the public can also influence lawmakers and businesses. People are able to advocate for changes through the pressurization to government officials and boycotting certain companies. Reasons above explain why we should not neglect citizens’s ability to protect the environment.

This paragraph provides a counter-argument, highlighting the role of individuals. It presents valid points but suffers from awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, such as 'environmental reservation' and 'pressurization to government officials.' Clearer examples and better phrasing would strengthen the argument.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while the leaders sure have larger influence on environmental management through their policies. Their action, when combine with the whole communities, produce the best solutions in the long run.

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but is brief and contains grammatical errors, such as 'leaders sure have' and 'when combine with the whole communities.' A more polished conclusion would enhance the essay's impact.

Evaluation for Question #8586

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

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Evaluation for Question #8586

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

(+84) 0383-096-717

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN