Evaluation for Question #8586

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your Essay

There are several major reasons why it seems challenging for an imposing policies to protect the evironment. Some people think that protecting the environment is government responsibility, resident do not have that much impact on the environment. I strongly agree with this opinion for several reasons.
On the one hand, government is the one have that much powerful to impose policy for everyone. They have a responsible position and tackle the problem that impact to the environment. They need to impose a law for everyone to do it, so that can reduce the pollution. In addition, the rate of deforestation can also reduce if high-ranking, residents agree to impose strict punishments, such as long-term imprisonment and heavy fine on those who cut down trees illigally.
On the other hand, I believe that ordinary people, through small, everyday action, can also greatly contribute to protecting the environment such as using bicycle and subway train for their daily life instead of car or bike. But this do not have that much influence to the environment like policy by government.
In the conclusion, govenment have more powerful than resident.

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5.5

Overall Band

Task Response

Coherence

Lexical

5.5

Grammar

The essay presents some relevant ideas but lacks a clear structure and detailed explanation. There are issues with grammatical accuracy and lexical range, which affect clarity and coherence. The task is not fully addressed, and the argument could be more balanced.

The essay partially addresses the task but does not fully explore the extent to which individuals can contribute to environmental protection. The argument is somewhat one-sided, focusing mainly on government responsibility, with limited consideration of the role individuals can play. More detailed examples and explanations are needed to strengthen the response.

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. The ideas are presented but not well-organized, leading to some confusion. Transitions between points are abrupt, and the conclusion is underdeveloped. Improved paragraphing and use of cohesive devices would enhance coherence.

The vocabulary is limited, with some repetition and misuse of words. There are spelling errors and incorrect word forms ('illigally' should be 'illegally', 'govenment' should be 'government', 'resident' should be 'residents'). A wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choice would improve the essay.

There are frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and sentence fragments. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. More complex sentence structures with greater grammatical accuracy would improve the essay.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Introduction

The introduction attempts to present the main argument but lacks clarity. The thesis statement is not clearly defined, and there are grammatical errors. More context and a clearer outline of the essay's structure would improve this section.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, government is the one have that much powerful to impose policy for everyone. They have a responsible position and tackle the problem that impact to the environment. They need to impose a law for everyone to do it, so that can reduce the pollution. In addition, the rate of deforestation can also reduce if high-ranking, residents agree to impose strict punishments, such as long-term imprisonment and heavy fine on those who cut down trees illigally.

This paragraph presents some relevant points about government responsibility but lacks clear examples and detailed explanation. The argument is somewhat vague, and there are grammatical errors that affect clarity. More specific examples and a clearer structure would strengthen this paragraph.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand, I believe that ordinary people, through small, everyday action, can also greatly contribute to protecting the environment such as using bicycle and subway train for their daily life instead of car or bike. But this do not have that much influence to the environment like policy by government.

This paragraph acknowledges the potential role of individuals but dismisses it too quickly without sufficient discussion. The examples given are too brief, and the argument lacks depth. A more balanced exploration of individual contributions would enhance the essay.

Conclusion

In the conclusion, govenment have more powerful than resident.

The conclusion is very brief and does not effectively summarize the main points or restate the thesis. It fails to provide a clear closing argument. A more comprehensive conclusion would improve cohesion and provide a clearer ending to the essay.

Evaluation for Question #8586

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

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Evaluation for Question #8586

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

(+84) 0383-096-717

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN