Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay presents a viewpoint that both individuals and politicians have a role in environmental protection. However, the essay lacks a clear structure and coherence. The argument is not fully developed, and there are several grammatical and lexical issues that impede clarity. The introduction is missing, which affects the overall coherence of the essay.
The essay addresses the task by suggesting that both politicians and individuals have roles in environmental protection. However, the argument is not fully developed, and key points are not sufficiently supported with examples or explanations. The task is partially answered as the focus is more on individuals, with limited discussion on the role of politicians.
The essay lacks a clear introduction, which disrupts the flow of the argument. There is an attempt to connect ideas, but transitions between points are weak. The essay could benefit from a more logical structure and clearer linking between ideas.
The vocabulary is basic and somewhat repetitive. There are some attempts to use less common lexical items, but inaccuracies are present. There is room for more precise and varied language use to better convey the argument.
There are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with sentence structure, verb forms, and punctuation. These errors detract from the clarity of the essay. A wider range of grammatical structures could be employed to enhance the argument.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
(Missing)
The essay lacks an introduction. An effective introduction should clearly outline the main argument and provide a brief overview of the points to be discussed.
Body paragraph 1
However, the residents should be responsible to protect the environment as the government's initiatives would be undermined if íts citizens do not take responsibility and polluting the environment. Water contamination of the To Lich river is a vivid example for this argument, whereas the authorities introduce a law to prohibit the discharging of illegal waste water, some people continue to throw trash into the water. Therefore, the To Lich river is still polluted. As a consequence, raising people’s awareness can contribute to fewer waste and a greener community, proving that the power of society can address environmental problems and preserving the environment is also achievable through collective effort of the whole community.
This paragraph presents an argument for individual responsibility in environmental protection. However, it is not well-structured, and the point about the To Lich river is not clearly linked to the overall argument. The paragraph would benefit from clearer topic sentences and better cohesion between ideas.
Body paragraph 2
Another reason is that the government's budget is limited and there are more other alarming concerns including transport, alleviating poverty healthcare or combating climate change. Consequently, people should be obligated to safeguard nature to reduce the strain on government’s resources.
This paragraph introduces the idea of limited government resources but does not elaborate on how individuals can specifically help. The argument is not fully developed, and there is a lack of examples or evidence to support the claim.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while it is believed that preserving nature is the obligation of the state, individuals do not take responsibility for it since they do too little. In my opinion, I argue that both the public institutions and all citizens should take care of nature because protecting the environment not only requires policies from the state but also requires changes in people's habits.
The conclusion restates the main argument but lacks a strong summary of the points discussed. It attempts to balance the roles of individuals and the state but does not effectively tie together the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
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