Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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7
Overall Band
7
Task Response
7
Coherence
6
Lexical
7
Grammar
The essay presents a well-balanced argument, discussing the roles of both governments and individuals in environmental protection. The writer provides relevant examples to support their points. While the essay is coherent and logically organized, it can benefit from more precise language and a wider range of vocabulary.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear stance that partly disagrees with the statement. It provides balanced arguments for both sides, supporting them with relevant examples. However, the explanation of why individuals' contributions are significant could be further developed.
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, and cohesive devices are used appropriately. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the conclusion could be more impactful by summarizing the key points more explicitly.
The lexical resource is adequate for the task, with some use of topic-specific vocabulary. However, the essay lacks variety and precision in language use. There is room for improvement in employing a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the richness of the essay.
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with few noticeable errors. Sentence structures are varied, but some complex sentences could be more accurately constructed. Overall, the grammatical range is sufficient for a clear understanding of the arguments.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
There is a belief that authorities are the one who should take responsibility for environment protection, not citizens since their dedication is unremarkable. I partly disagree with this opinion and my viewpoint will be presented below.
The introduction effectively presents the topic and the writer's partial disagreement. However, it could be more engaging by providing a brief context or background on why environmental protection is a pressing issue.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, governments’ actions can really make changes in current environmental problems. Firstly, regulations relating to this can be enforced in order to limit the effect of this crisis. For instance, lawmakers can reinforce strict laws to restrict the amount of waste discharged to the ecosystem. Secondly, environmental protection programmes often require huge funds that only governments can afford. Above all else, these kinds of governmental programmes have widespread influence and encourage international cooperation.
This paragraph presents a strong argument about the role of governments in environmental protection. The points are clearly explained with relevant examples. However, the paragraph could be improved by including a more explicit link between each point to enhance cohesion.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, individuals’ dedication in order to save the environment should not be underestimated. If everyone is aware of protecting the ecosystem, their collective actions can make significant changes in the current situation. For instance, if every single citizen knew about saving the environment, it would undoubtedly create a sustainable ecosystem. In addition, the crowd has the right to vote for people who really care about environmental problems, leaving huge influence to politicians. Finally, the power of consumers can be leveraged, for example, the community of customers can boycott companies which are causing harm to the environment. Additionally, products which are not eco-friendly can be refused or returned, forcing businesses to be more environmentally sustainable.
This paragraph effectively argues for the importance of individual contributions. The points are well-supported with examples. However, the paragraph could benefit from more precise language and clearer connections between ideas.
Conclusion
To sum it all up, governments can set up larger programmes to save the ecosystem but the importance of individuals is not insignificant on a large scale. These two are equally responsible and their cooperation can result in widespread action to solve the current environmental problems.
The conclusion summarizes the essay's main points and reinforces the balanced view. However, it could be more impactful by explicitly summarizing the key arguments and suggesting possible solutions or actions for both parties.
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