Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view on the topic, discussing the roles of both politicians and individuals in environmental protection. However, the essay could benefit from clearer organization and a more precise use of language to enhance coherence and clarity.
The essay addresses the task by discussing the roles of both politicians and individuals in protecting the environment. It provides relevant examples and arguments to support the viewpoint. However, the position could be more clearly stated in the introduction, and the conclusion could more effectively summarize the main points discussed.
The essay is generally coherent, with ideas logically organized. However, there are some abrupt transitions between ideas, and the use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the flow of the essay. Paragraphs are not always clearly distinguished, leading to some confusion in the structure.
The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choice, such as 'boycotting power among communities.' There are also some repetitive phrases. More varied and precise vocabulary could improve the quality of the essay.
The essay contains some grammatical errors, such as incorrect punctuation and sentence fragments. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. While the meaning is generally clear, greater grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structures would enhance the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
In recent years ,more and more people are aware of the significance of preservation of the environment .While some claim that nature conservation is a duty of only the government as a single person’s impact is minimal , I partly agree with this viewpoint since both sides' contributions are equally valuable.
The introduction presents the topic and outlines the writer's stance, but it could be more concise and clearly state the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the law makers are often big organizations,which can provide programs or enforce laws and regulations more effectively to the whole public than single individual’s contributions.By implementing laws such as restricting the amount of waste discharged to the environment of each person and imposing environmental taxes, politicians may adjust human’s lifestyle to enhance in eco-friendly practices.Thus, this lead to a significant improvement in environment protection. In addition,environmental protection programs led by the authorities can spread across borders .Only the government has the authority and power required to collaborate with other countries to implement , making environmental protection programs in the most effective way.
This paragraph effectively discusses the role of politicians and provides examples. However, the ideas could be more clearly structured, and some sentences are overly complex or lack proper punctuation.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand ,while the government is crucial, individuals can help by collective effort from all stakeholders, which is also essential for effective environment protection methods.Firstly,if citizens are aware of the security themselves, it will achieve mass effectiveness in the protection of the safety of the environment around them. For instance, some households conserve environment by using renewable energy, reusing and recycling production, helping our environment become free of pollution.Secondly, boycotting power among communities can be a sustainable approach to change human’s lifestyles in production and consumption.By boycotting , people are discouraged to pay for environmental unfriendly services or products.
The paragraph discusses the role of individuals and provides relevant examples. However, some sentences are unclear or awkwardly phrased, and the paragraph could benefit from more cohesive links between ideas.
Conclusion
In conclusion,while global environmental preservation should be implemented by governments, these issues can not be fully addressed without individuals’ efforts which play an important role in lessening the environmental pollution.Thus, I personally claim that both governments and citizens should take the responsibility of saving nature.
The conclusion reiterates the main points, but it could be more concise and directly summarize the key arguments made in the essay. The final statement could be more impactful.
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