Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view on the issue of environmental protection, acknowledging the roles of both individuals and politicians. However, there are several areas where improvements could be made to enhance clarity and coherence, such as improving grammatical accuracy and lexical resource.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear stance and supporting it with relevant arguments. It acknowledges the roles of both individuals and politicians, offering examples to illustrate the points made. However, the conclusion could be more balanced, as it slightly undermines the role of individuals despite earlier arguments.
The essay is generally coherent but lacks smooth transitions between some ideas. The second body paragraph could be better linked to the introduction. Additionally, there are instances of repetitive language and awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow of ideas.
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward word choice and repetition (e.g., 'boycottingboycotting', 'impactfulimpactful'). Some phrases could be more precise, and there are occasional spelling errors ('indispensible', 'consiousness').
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as incorrect punctuation, sentence fragments, and awkward sentence structures. The misuse of conjunctions and prepositions affects readability. Improvements in sentence variety and accuracy would enhance clarity.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
There is an ongoing discussion that preserving the environment should be the liability of politicians since individuals appear to make little contribution. Personally, I partially agree with this idea because the government can own the power to make real differences in society, while individuals can not reach that extent, but they are the main factors in adopting positive changes in protecting the environment.
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by acknowledging both sides of the argument. However, the phrasing could be more precise, particularly in the latter part of the paragraph.
Body paragraph 1
Considering firstly the impactful contribution of individuals, an important one is that people can do small daily activities to reduce pollution in environmental surroundings. For instance, they can take actions by consuming less waste, conserving energy, and supporting eco-friendly practices, which can alleviate some burdens on the government. Furthermore, the boycottingboycotting power of the people is really awkwardly incredible;, they have the right to refuse to buy services or goods. This leads to the shift in the authority’s methods of production and some different measures to reduce the impact on the environment. However, all of those must able to be done in reunification, not just only one individual, so it is apparent that we need more easily observable change in protecting the environment, inenvironment which politicians and government bodies come into play.
This paragraph provides relevant examples of individual contributions. However, the paragraph is marred by awkward phrasing and repetition ('boycottingboycotting'). The transition to the role of politicians could be smoother.
Body paragraph 2
First and foremost, the government can enact and enforce laws and regulations to restrict the amount of waste discharged to the environment. Protecting natural resources, mitigating pollution, and conserving biodiversity are incorporated in the legislation. A good example of this is inAustralia, where Australia, individuals and companies have to pay a fine of AUS 1000 - AUS 5000 for any damage to the nature. In some cases, the fines are heavier, and people could even face time in prison. As a result, this is a really must - obey action for their residents, which can reduce illegitimate natural destroying crimes such as deforestation or overfishing. Secondly, environmental protection programs often require colossal funds, which significantly exceed what any individual can afford. To be honest, the larger the impactfulimpactful program, the more prohibitively exorbitant it is. As the government can totally make all the decisions due to their essential resource procession and have the ability for suitable marketing ads to draw more people’s attention. Additionally, they are also a legal community, so they can earn the trust of the residents. For example,the UN UN Environment Programme (UNEP) is a workplace of the politicians, running a crowdfunding strategy strategies to successfully organise green projects for global inhabitants. Consequently, the authority can create more worldwide movements, changing many viewpoints and activities of many people.
This paragraph provides strong arguments for the role of governments. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases ('impactfulimpactful', 'inAustralia, where Australia'). The examples are relevant but could be presented more clearly.
Conclusion
In conclusion, in spite of the influence of individuals in environmental protection, I believe it is indispensible that the responsibilities of the politicians and governments are the only one long-lasting solution to deal with global warming problems by introducing laws and promoting environmental consciousness consiousness in this day and age.
The conclusion reiterates the main argument but could be more balanced, as it downplays the role of individuals despite earlier arguments. There are spelling errors ('indispensible', 'consiousness') that should be corrected.
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