Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay provides a balanced view, acknowledging the roles of both governments and individuals in environmental protection. However, there are several language inaccuracies, and the argument could be expanded with more supporting details and examples. The essay could benefit from clearer structuring and refinement in language use.
The essay addresses the task by discussing the responsibilities of both individuals and politicians in environmental protection. However, the argument could be more developed with additional examples and explanation. The conclusion reiterates the main points well but could be stronger by summarizing specific actions both groups can take.
The essay is generally organized well, with clear paragraphing. However, some ideas are not fully developed or connected smoothly. Transitions between ideas could be improved to enhance the flow of the argument.
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at using more complex words (e.g., 'regulate,' 'excessive'). However, there are instances of incorrect word choice and phrases (e.g., 'make VN become'). More precise and varied vocabulary would improve the score.
There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('some governmental neglect or fail'), incorrect tense ('make VN become'), and pluralization ('issues'). Sentence structures are generally correct but could be more complex and accurate.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
Nowadays, there is growing concern about whether the responsibility for the alarming rise in environmental pollution with government agencies or individuals. In my opinion, both the government and the public should be accountable for this issues.
The introduction presents the topic but contains grammatical errors ('this issues'). It sets up the argument that both parties are responsible, which is clear.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the surge in air pollution is largely a result of ineffective governmental policies. To be more specific, some governmental neglect or fail to regulate the increasing number of vehicles on the roads, leading to severe traffic congestion, which in turn releases excessive exhaust fumes into the air. Additionally, the absence of local production policies to minimize the frequency of goods transportation further worsen air quality. As a results, governments must take the responsibility.
This paragraph clearly outlines the role of government in environmental issues. However, there are grammatical errors and awkward phrasing ('some governmental neglect or fail'). More specific examples and data could enhance the argument.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, human activities also play a major role in escalating air pollution. Due to the lack of environmental awareness, people tend to overuse personal vehicles instead of public transports, which significantly contribute to air pollution. For instance, in Vietnam, many individuals own multiple motobikes and cars because of their convenience, causing heavy traffic jam and make VN become one of the most polluted country in the world. Therefore, individuals are also key contributors to air pollution.
This paragraph discusses the role of individuals effectively, but it contains grammatical errors ('make VN become'). The example of Vietnam is relevant but could be expanded with more detailed information.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both governmental authorities and the general public are crucial factors in the decline of air quality and should take greater responsibility for addressing this issue.
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points. It could be improved by suggesting specific actions or solutions for both governments and individuals.
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