Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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4.0
Overall Band
3.0
Task Response
4.0
Coherence
4.0
Lexical
4.0
Grammar
The essay does not address the given task. Instead of discussing environmental protection, it describes data from a table about leisure activities. The content is irrelevant to the task, which significantly affects the overall score. The essay also contains issues with coherence, cohesion, lexical resource, and grammatical accuracy.
The essay fails to address the task of discussing the responsibility of environmental protection. Instead, it describes trends in leisure activities, which are unrelated to the task. There is a clear misunderstanding of the task, leading to an inappropriate response.
While the essay attempts to describe data logically, it lacks coherence and cohesion in relation to the task. The information is not organized around the central question, and there is no clear progression of ideas related to the task. Transition words are used, but they connect unrelated content.
The vocabulary used is somewhat appropriate for describing data, but it is not relevant to the task. There is limited range, and some words are repetitive. The essay does not demonstrate the ability to use a wide range of vocabulary related to environmental issues.
The grammatical structures used are simple and contain errors. Sentence structures are repetitive, and there are issues with verb tense consistency and agreement. The grammar does not enhance clarity or support the task response effectively.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
The table illustrates the proportion of people who participated in four leisure activities in urban and rural areas in 1990 and 2010.
The introduction is completely unrelated to the task. It introduces a data description instead of addressing the topic of environmental responsibility.
Body paragraph 1
Overall, Reading was the activity with most adults in urban and rural places joined in both given years while Photography and Animated plays saw the opposite.
This paragraph provides an overview of the data but is irrelevant to the task. It does not discuss environmental protection or responsibilities.
Body paragraph 2
In 1990, there was 61% of adults from urban took part in Reading while this rate in Rural was higher with 71%. In terms of photography, both population from two areas attended the least with just 7% for Urban and 17% for Rural. The percentage of Animated plays in city had 10%, whereas the opposite had 18%. Playing was the second highest activity which was contributed by adults with both areas had over 20%.
This paragraph details data trends but lacks relevance to the task. It does not discuss any aspect of environmental protection or individual versus political responsibility.
Conclusion
By 2010, Reading maintained at the highest percentage activity used by adults in both zones with the same figure - 78%. Playing came the second although the proportion of men and women who joined this activity from urban decreased. Animated plays showed the lowest number in urban and rural with 10 and 14, respectively. Both areas in 2010 had more people did photography with more 10 percent for each.
The conclusion continues the description of data trends without addressing the task. There is no summary or position provided regarding the responsibility for environmental protection.
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