Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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7
Overall Band
7
Task Response
7
Coherence
7
Lexical
7
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view on the topic, arguing that both politicians and individuals have roles in environmental protection. The arguments are generally well-supported and relevant examples are provided. However, there are some issues with coherence, cohesion, and lexical resource that could be improved.
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing the roles of both politicians and individuals in environmental protection. The writer provides relevant examples and justifications for their viewpoint. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer stance in the introduction and more in-depth exploration of the arguments.
The essay is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing. There is a logical progression of ideas, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. The use of linking words is appropriate, but some sentences could be more cohesively connected to enhance the overall flow.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some variety in word choice. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word usage and some repetition that could be avoided by using synonyms or more precise terminology.
The essay displays a good range of grammatical structures with few errors. Sentence structures are varied, but there are occasional mistakes in punctuation and article usage. These do not impede understanding, but addressing them could enhance the essay's overall quality.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
Some people believe that protecting the environment is mainly the responsibility of politicians, as individuals alone cannot handle it at all. From my perspective, I believe that both of them have a vital role in environmental protection.
The introduction presents the topic and the writer's position clearly. However, it could be more engaging and concise. A more defined thesis statement outlining the main points of the essay would strengthen this section.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, it is true that politicians have more power to make huge changes. They have a great influence on society, so they can create, enforce laws and regulations to protect the environment from severe destruction. For example, in some countries, they tend to impose tax to decrease the amount of waste discharged to the environment because when the prices of environmentally harmful products increase due to taxes, consumers tend to switch to more eco-friendly alternatives. Furthermore, environmental protection programs often require colossal funds which significantly exceed what any individual can afford. It can be seen that projects such as cleaning rivers or developing green spaces require large investment costs, and this calls for authorities to take action by raising funds or allowing the use of state budgets and these things that individuals might not do on their own.
The paragraph effectively explains the role of politicians in environmental protection with relevant examples. The ideas are logically connected, but some sentences could be more concise. The transition to the next paragraph could be improved for better cohesion.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, individuals should not turn a blind eye to environmental protection. It can be seen that every small action by people might lead to big results. For example, people can protect the environment simply by disposing of waste properly, reducing the amount of waste they produce or saving electronics. Moreover, individuals can also switch to public transportation instead of using private cars, which helps reduce air pollution. In fact, individuals can influence politicians by voting for leaders who care about environmental issues and they play a key role in supporting and encouraging government action.
This paragraph outlines the potential impact of individual actions on environmental protection. The examples provided are relevant and support the argument. However, some ideas could be expanded upon for greater depth, and the paragraph would benefit from a more explicit connection to the essay's overall argument.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I partly agree that environmental protection is the responsibility of the authorities, but I also believe that individuals play an equally important role by contributing through simple daily actions.
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and restates the writer's stance. It could be improved by offering a more insightful closing statement or suggestion for future actions.
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