Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay addresses the task, presenting arguments for both perspectives on the issue of environmental responsibility. However, the response lacks depth and clarity in its arguments, and the organization of ideas is somewhat confusing. The language used is often awkward, with frequent grammatical errors and limited vocabulary range.
The essay presents a position on the issue and discusses both sides, but the arguments are underdeveloped and not clearly linked to the question of whether environmental protection is mainly the responsibility of politicians or individuals. The conclusion fails to explicitly state the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement.
The essay attempts to organize ideas into paragraphs, but the logical progression of arguments is unclear, and cohesion is weak. There is a lack of clear topic sentences and linking words, making it difficult to follow the writer's line of reasoning.
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is some attempt at using topic-specific language, but errors in word choice and form frequently impede meaning. There is also a lack of paraphrasing and variety in expression.
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and sentence fragments. These errors often obscure meaning and reduce the overall clarity of the writing. Sentence structures are generally simple with limited complexity.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
Recently, scientists have shown that the transportation of goods and persons plays the significant role in pollution. Many individuals think that the authorities should take the responsibility while others believe the problem is population's fault. This essay will discuss both opinion and provide my own view.
The introduction presents the topic and outlines the intention to discuss both perspectives. However, the thesis statement is vague, and the language is awkward. It is also unclear how the mention of transportation fits into the broader argument about responsibility.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are several reasons why people believe government should be in charge of pollution. Firstly, they are the leaders of countries whom have to solve every issues -especially climate change. For example, government can introduce strict laws to reduce the climate change such as water pollution or air pollution by composing tax on big company when they are emitting green house air. Secondly, authorities activities are for boosting the economic of nation which causes pollution. Therefore, they have to fix every consequences by their own. For instance, government exports a huge amount of products to other nations can waste minerals such as oil or gas which causes pollution.
This paragraph attempts to argue that governments should be responsible for pollution. However, the points made are not well-developed or clearly linked to the topic. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that obscure meaning. The examples are not effectively explained or connected to the argument.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, many people think it is the fault of citizens by various reasons. First of all, a lot of people do not realize the serious of pollution, thus they still contribute in activities which leads to harm the environment. To illustrates, teenager who have no knowledge regarding to climate change can throw litter in public areas, as a result the condition of that habitat can be destroyed. Another reason is people can participating in projects which help the environment. Volunteers can share knowledge for young people or older people about the issues as well as collecting trash from society.
This paragraph discusses why individuals might be responsible for pollution. The points are relevant but underdeveloped. The argument lacks depth, and the examples provided are not sufficiently explained. There are multiple grammatical errors that affect clarity, and the paragraph lacks cohesion.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that the responsibility of pollution is for all population around the world, every people should take part in protecting our mother planet.
The conclusion restates a general idea about shared responsibility but does not clearly address the task question regarding the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement. The language is imprecise, and the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main arguments presented.
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