Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
You can edit this text for your reference. Changes will not be saved.
5.5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5.5
Coherence
6
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced argument but lacks clarity and depth in addressing the task. While it attempts to discuss both sides, the arguments are underdeveloped, and there is some confusion regarding the main issue of responsibility for environmental protection. The language is generally clear, but there are noticeable grammatical errors and some awkward phrasing that affect comprehension.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument, but it lacks depth and clarity. The main issue of whether environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians or individuals is not thoroughly explored. The conclusion presents a stance but does not provide a clear and strong justification. The essay could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer focus on the task question.
The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the cohesion between ideas is weak, with some abrupt transitions and unclear connections between sentences. The use of linking words is limited, and more cohesive devices could improve the flow of the essay.
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some variety and appropriate word choice. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and repetitive language. A greater range of vocabulary and more precise word choice would enhance the essay.
There are frequent grammatical errors that affect comprehension, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structures are simple, and there is limited use of complex structures. Improving grammatical accuracy and range would strengthen the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
The transportation of goods and people has been proved to be the main cause of pollution and there is an argument about whether it is government's responsibility or the fault of citizen. This essay will discuss both opinion and my viewpoint will lean toward the perspective that negative effects to the environment of individuals cause damages to the ecosystem.
The introduction sets up the topic but lacks clarity in addressing the main question about responsibility for environmental protection. The thesis statement is unclear and does not effectively outline the essay’s argument.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, it is undeniable that authorities should take part in protecting the environment with regulations toward citizens. For instance, they can enforce strict laws to discourage people from destroying the ecosystem. To be more specific, if anybody dispose their personal waste directly to the environment, they must pay a hefty fine and also have to take responsibility for what they have done. In addition, government can organise national programs and encourage everyone to protect their surroundings. For example, authorities can set off annually “eco-friendly” day to raise citizen's awareness about saving the ecosystem. Those actions will definitely have a remarkable effect in large scale.
This paragraph presents reasons for government responsibility but lacks depth and specific examples. The argument is somewhat general, and more detailed examples and explanations could strengthen it.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, I have to emphasize the importance of individuals' awareness toward protecting the environment. Small destructive actions might be overlooked but on a larger scale, it will definitely cause huge environmental problems. For example, if millions of people constantly pollute the environment, the negative effect to the ecosystem is obviouslly. Besides, if individuals themselves are not aware of protecting their natural surroundings, government's efforts surely wouldn't make any changes.
This paragraph highlights the role of individuals but is repetitive and lacks specific examples. The argument could be developed further with more detailed reasoning and evidence to support the claims.
Conclusion
To sum it all up, the transportation of goods and people causing a significant harm to the environment and I think both government and individuals should take part protecting the ecosystem but citizen themselves have bigger responsibility in this crisis.
The conclusion attempts to summarize the essay but presents a new argument rather than reinforcing the main points. It lacks clarity and does not effectively conclude the essay.
Sign In
[nextend_social_login]
or sign in with email
The password must have a minimum of 8 characters of numbers and letters, contain at least 1 capital letter
Cô Huyền sẽ liên hệ trực tiếp với bạn qua email hoặc điện thoại trong 1-2 ngày tới để trao đổi cụ thể hơn về việc học.
Hoặc bạn cũng có thể chủ động liên hệ với cô giáo theo thông tin dưới đây để được xếp lớp sớm nhất.
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Xin cám ơn.
ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN
Để đăng ký học IELTS lớp cô Huyền, vui lòng điền form dưới đây để được tư vấn. Hoặc gọi điện trực tiếp cho cô giáo theo số +84.0383.096.717 để giữ chỗ.
Để đăng ký nhanh nhất, vui lòng liên hệ trực tiếp cho cô Huyền theo số:
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội
