Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view on the responsibility for environmental protection, considering both the role of authorities and individuals. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and contains several grammatical errors that affect the readability. The argument could be more clearly structured, and the vocabulary could be more precise and varied.
The essay addresses the task by discussing the responsibility of both politicians and individuals in environmental protection. However, the main argument is not clearly stated in the introduction, and the conclusion is somewhat repetitive. More specific examples and evidence would strengthen the argument.
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow of ideas is disrupted by unclear transitions and some repetition. Clearer topic sentences and improved paragraphing would enhance coherence. Some ideas are not fully developed, leading to a lack of cohesion.
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are several inaccuracies and awkward expressions, such as 'modern's society' and 'revident.' More precise and varied vocabulary would improve the lexical resource score.
There are frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('is reported'), subject-verb agreement issues ('resident's behaviors'), and article misuse. These errors impact the clarity and professionalism of the writing. Greater grammatical accuracy is needed.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
In modern's society, it is reported that transporting goods and traveling of commuters are the main culprit of this issue. while some individuals support that the authority should be accountable for such problem, other argue that resident's behaviors lead to pollution. From my perspective, both the state and individuals should take responsibility to alleviate pollution.
The introduction presents the topic but contains several grammatical errors and lacks a clear thesis statement. It should clearly outline the main argument and avoid awkward expressions.
Body paragraph 1
It is supposed that it is the duty of authorities to handle contamination as they possess enough power and resource to implement laws to reduce the negative impact of transportation of products. This is exemplified that the government can launch a campaign encouraging citizens to switch to use electrical vehicle when travelling or transporting goods, which help reduce the black carbon emission released in to the air. Another reasons why authorities should be responsible for pollution is that the individuals pay tax for them. As a result, they should address such issues to improve living standard of their residents. If the state is not responsible for contaminations or come up with initiatives to deal with this problem, this will lead to the conflict between governments and citizens and they will not receive the support of individuals.
The paragraph discusses the role of authorities but lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. The examples provided are relevant but not well-developed. The paragraph could benefit from clearer structure and more precise language.
Body paragraph 2
However, it is obligation of every member in society to deal with contamination as they are one of many source leading to this problem. Furthermore, government's policy will be infeasible without the support of their residents. It is revident that if the state encourage them to use more electrical vehicles or use more public transport, but they still remain their habit, the pollution will be likely to become worse.
This paragraph emphasizes individual responsibility but contains several grammatical errors and unclear expressions. The argument is relevant but could be more effectively developed with specific examples. The transition between ideas needs improvement.
Conclusion
In conclusion although it is suggested that the government should be accountable for contamination, I believe that it is also obligation of individuals to deal with this issue and cooperation of the state and residents can alleviate pollution.
The conclusion restates the main argument but is somewhat repetitive and lacks impact. It could be improved by summarizing key points more effectively and providing a clear final thought.
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