Evaluation for Question #8586

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your Essay

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5.5
Overall Band
5.5
Task Response
5.5
Coherence
5.5
Lexical
5.5
Grammar

The essay presents a clear position on the topic but lacks depth in its argumentation. There are some issues with coherence and cohesion, as well as grammatical accuracy and lexical resource. The task response is adequate but could benefit from more detailed examples and explanations.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear opinion, but the argument is not fully developed. The reasoning is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. More specific examples and explanations would strengthen the response.

The essay follows a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas are abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and the connection between some sentences and paragraphs could be improved.

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive, with some inaccurate word choices. A wider range of vocabulary and more precise word usage would enhance the essay.

There are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement and incorrect word forms. The sentence structures are often simple, and more complex structures could be used to improve the essay.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Introduction

Many people hold the belief that governments should be in charge of pollutions engendered mainly by products transportation and the people, while other argue that it should be the citizens who is responsible for this. I strongly opine with the latter and this essay will prove my point.

Body paragraph 1

On one hand, it is understandable for people to assume that this responsibility belongs to higher authorities. Governments are the one who observe and give many major orders for enterprises and organizations to follow, so it is reasonable to believe that pollution caused by transporting goods and the people are also a direct result from the orders of governments. However, many people fail to realize the fact that government only tell people what to do, not how to do it, so they will not know how individuals will carry out that demand. For instance, politicians may order organizations to transfer aids to poorer regions, but they will not be able to know how these organizations will transfer them. Those organization may use many personnel vehicles that can emit toxic gases into the air, causing air pollution, so it is not entirely the governments' fault to blame.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand, individuals should be in charge of this problem. The reasons for this is because of people's lack of awareness. People leading the products transportation may not be aware that some equipments they use or the action they do may lead to pollutions, or maybe they do know but still decide to do it anyway to cut down the costs. In addition to this, the everyday routine of citizens of the world is also a major factor contributing to damaging our planet. Acts such as littering, deforestation, burning, destroying habitats, urbanization, can lead to serious consequences, such as pollution.

Conclusion

In conclusion, although governments are somewhat responsible for these sources of pollutions, I still firmly believe that is individuals should be the ones to take the blame for these main sources of environmental problems.

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Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội