Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay presents a position on the topic, but the argument lacks clarity and development. The response is somewhat repetitive, and the structure could be improved for better coherence. There are significant grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that hinder comprehension.
The essay partially addresses the task, discussing both government and individual responsibilities in environmental protection. However, the argument is not fully developed, and the reasoning is not always clear. The essay does not effectively address why individuals can have a significant impact despite their limited actions.
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is not always logical or clear. There is some repetition of ideas, and the connections between points are weak. More effective use of linking words and a clearer structure could improve cohesion.
The vocabulary is quite limited, with some repetition and inaccurate word choices. There are attempts at using more advanced vocabulary, but these are often incorrect or awkwardly used, affecting the clarity of the essay.
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb forms, and awkward sentence structures. These errors often make it difficult to understand the intended meaning. A wider range of grammatical structures and greater accuracy would improve the score.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
People have different perspectives about vehicle productions and human are the main cause lead to pollution. While some people believe that government has an impact on this, others claim that individual has more influenced. Personally, I agree with the latter view for several reasons.
The introduction attempts to present the main argument, but it is unclear and contains grammatical errors. The thesis statement is not clearly stated, and the key terms of the essay question are not adequately addressed.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, some people strongly believe that government should be involve in the reason result in environmental pollution. Firstly, they want the country to be more development, they expand more and more public transportations which may help people to move easily in the city. Beside the benefits of it, it still has some disadvantage. Developing more transportations in the city may also damage the environment because of the gas discharge into the air per hour. Secondly, government usually makes plan to build more building in the city to help improve the financialy of the country. But this also impact the environment, more dusts are spread into the air cause to air pollution.
This paragraph attempts to present arguments for government responsibility but lacks clarity and coherence. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The points made are not well-developed or clearly linked to the main argument.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, others including me claim that human is the main cause lead to pollution. Firstly, a lot of people now prefer to having their own car. This impacts the environment a lots by the dust that spread into the air and using to much gas. Thefore, government suggests people to using public transport which may low the rate of pollution. Secondly, people is the one who impact the environment everyday. Their small behaviour also has an impact on the environment, such as throwing trash or overconsumption because of that people need to be careful with their behaviours to protect the environment.
This paragraph presents the argument for individual responsibility but is repetitive and lacks depth. The points are not fully developed, and the paragraph contains numerous grammatical errors. The link between individual actions and environmental impact is not effectively explored.
Conclusion
In conclusion, government seen to have some influence on the environment but people are the main cause. Because of that individual should be more responsible with their behaviors and activities to ease the rate of pollution.
The conclusion attempts to summarize the essay but is not entirely consistent with the main arguments presented. It is brief and does not effectively restate the position or provide a compelling final thought. Grammatical errors persist.
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