Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, acknowledging the roles of both individuals and the government in environmental protection. However, the essay lacks depth in its arguments and examples, and the conclusion is missing, which affects the overall coherence of the essay. The grammatical accuracy is relatively good, but there are some awkward phrases and errors in word choice that affect clarity.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the role of individuals and the government in environmental protection. However, the arguments are not fully developed, and the essay lacks specific examples to support its claims. Additionally, the essay is incomplete, lacking a conclusion that summarizes the main points and clearly states the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement.
The essay is organized into paragraphs that each focus on a different point. However, the transition between ideas is not always smooth, and the overall flow of the essay is disrupted by the absence of a conclusion. More linking devices could be used to enhance cohesion between paragraphs and within them.
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some attempts at using less common lexical items, such as 'eco-friendly' and 'sustainable habits'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and phrasing, such as 'the contamination that caused by transportation'. More precision in vocabulary use could improve the lexical resource score.
The grammatical structures used in the essay are generally correct, but there are several errors, such as incorrect article usage ('the government should be accountable for the contamination') and awkward phrasing ('responsible of this'). These errors occasionally impede understanding, and more complex grammatical structures could be employed.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
There is an ongoing discussion about whether the government should be accountable for the contamination that caused by transportation of products and people or individuals need to be responsible of this. I believe that the government should take apparent actions to protect its nation’s environment by enacting laws and regulations, making significant contribution while individuals can change the habitat to better way.
The introduction presents the topic and states the writer's position. However, there are grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as 'contamination that caused by' and 'responsible of this'. The thesis statement could be more clearly articulated.
Body paragraph 1
First and foremost, each person can be the main factor to prevent pollution. Small activities can be made by daily tasks which can have considerable influence in adopting more eco-friendly lifestyles. For instance, people can save the energy when not using it, use reusable things and raise awareness about going towards sustainable habits. Moreover, humans have the ability to encourage people around them not to cause damage to the environment. For example, they can organise some campaigns to change the way people think and take measurement such as planting more trees to conserve the natural surroundings.
The paragraph provides reasons why individuals can impact environmental protection. It includes examples of actions individuals can take. However, the examples could be more specific, and the language is somewhat repetitive. The connection between ideas could be improved with more cohesive devices.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly, the government can create more obvious impact on protecting the environment and deal with those issues by some big solutions. The authority should be in charge of polluted problems.
This paragraph introduces the role of the government but lacks development and specific examples of 'big solutions'. The paragraph ends abruptly, and the argument is not fully explored or supported.
Conclusion
The essay lacks a conclusion. A concluding paragraph should summarize the main points discussed and restate the writer's position, providing a clear answer to the question.
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