Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay addresses the task reasonably well, presenting a balanced view on the responsibilities of politicians and individuals in environmental protection. However, there are issues with coherence and cohesion, as well as grammatical accuracy, that prevent a higher score.
The essay provides a balanced view on the topic, acknowledging the roles of both politicians and individuals in environmental protection. The arguments are relevant and supported by examples. However, the essay could benefit from more precise explanations and stronger conclusions regarding the extent to which one side is more responsible than the other.
The essay is generally coherent, but there are issues with cohesion. Some sentences and ideas are not well linked, and paragraph transitions could be smoother. The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and more logical progression of ideas.
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some variety in lexical choices. However, there are occasional inaccuracies and awkward usages, such as 'conserve environment' and 'boycotting power'. More precise and varied vocabulary would enhance the essay.
There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing articles and incorrect prepositions. Sentence structures are generally correct, but complex sentences sometimes lack clarity. Greater grammatical accuracy would improve the overall quality of the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
In recent years ,more and more people are aware of the significance of preservation of the environment .While some claim that nature conservation is a duty of only the government as a single person’s impact is minimal , I partly agree with this viewpoint since both sides' contributions are equally valuable.
The introduction provides a clear thesis statement and sets up the discussion well. However, it could be more concise and direct in presenting the main argument.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the law makers are often big organizations,which can provide programs or enforce laws and regulations more effectively to the whole public than single individual’s contributions.By implementing laws such as restricting the amount of waste discharged to the environment of each person and imposing environmental taxes, politicians may adjust human’s lifestyle to enhance in eco-friendly practices.Thus, this lead to a significant improvement in environment protection. In addition,environmental protection programs led by the authorities can spread across borders .Only the government has the authority and power required to collaborate with other countries to implement , making environmental protection programs in the most effective way.
The paragraph presents relevant points about the role of governments in environmental protection. However, sentence structure and punctuation issues affect clarity. The paragraph could benefit from clearer linking of ideas and more precise language.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand ,while the government is crucial, individuals can help by collective effort from all stakeholders, which is also essential for effective environment protection methods.Firstly,if citizens are aware of the security themselves, it will achieve mass effectiveness in the protection of the safety of the environment around them. For instance, some households conserve environment by using renewable energy, reusing and recycling production, helping our environment become free of pollution.Secondly, boycotting power among communities can be a sustainable approach to change human’s lifestyles in production and consumption.By boycotting , people are discouraged to pay for environmental unfriendly services or products.
This paragraph highlights the role of individuals but lacks cohesion and clarity. The examples are relevant but could be more effectively linked to the argument. There's a need for more precise language and better grammatical accuracy.
Conclusion
In conclusion,while global environmental preservation should be implemented by governments, these issues can not be fully addressed without individuals’ efforts which play an important role in lessening the environmental pollution.Thus, I personally claim that both governments and citizens should take the responsibility of saving nature.
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more decisive in stating the overall position. It would benefit from a clearer restatement of the thesis and a stronger closing statement.
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