Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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7
Overall Band
7
Task Response
7
Coherence
7
Lexical
7
Grammar
The essay provides a balanced discussion of the responsibilities of both governments and individuals in environmental protection. While it addresses the task effectively, there are areas for improvement in coherence and lexical resource. The argument is generally clear and well-structured, but there is room for more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures.
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, supporting the idea that both politicians and individuals have roles in environmental protection. The argument is well-developed with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer stance and more depth in analysis.
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Cohesion is achieved through logical progression and use of linking words. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and there could be more variety in cohesive devices.
The vocabulary is appropriate and relevant to the topic, with some attempts at using less common lexical items. However, there is a need for greater variety and precision in word choice to enhance the argument. Some phrases are repeated, which affects the overall lexical range.
The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar with minor errors that do not impede communication. There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there could be more variety in sentence types to show a wider range of grammatical structures.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
There is a belief that authorities are the one who should take responsibility for environment protection, not citizens since their dedication is unremarkable. I partly disagree with this opinion and my viewpoint will be presented below.
The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer's partial disagreement. However, it could be more engaging by providing a broader context or background information on the issue.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, governments’ actions can really make changes in current environmental problems. Firstly, regulations relating to this can be enforced in order to limit the effect of this crisis. For instance, lawmakers can reinforce strict laws to restrict the amount of waste discharged to the ecosystem. Secondly, environmental protection programmes often require huge funds that only governments can afford. Above all else, these kinds of governmental programmes have widespread influence and encourage international cooperation.
This paragraph effectively outlines the role of governments with clear examples. The points are relevant, but the paragraph could be enhanced by providing more specific examples and exploring the implications of government actions in greater depth.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, individuals’ dedication in order to save the environment should not be underestimated. If everyone is aware of protecting the ecosystem, their collective actions can make significant changes in the current situation. For instance, if every single citizen knew about saving the environment, it would undoubtedly create a sustainable ecosystem. In addition, the crowd has the right to vote for people who really care about environmental problems, leaving huge influence to politicians. Finally, the power of consumers can be leveraged, for example, the community of customers can boycott companies which are causing harm to the environment. Additionally, products which are not eco-friendly can be refused or returned, forcing businesses to be more environmentally sustainable.
The paragraph presents a strong argument for individual responsibility with various examples. It covers different aspects of individual influence effectively. However, the examples could be more detailed, and the paragraph could benefit from a stronger concluding sentence to tie the ideas together.
Conclusion
To sum it all up, governments can set up larger programmes to save the ecosystem but the importance of individuals is not insignificant on a large scale. These two are equally responsible and their cooperation can result in widespread action to solve the current environmental problems.
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of both parties in addressing environmental issues. It could be strengthened by suggesting specific ways in which governments and individuals can collaborate.
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