Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
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Giải thích
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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, acknowledging both the roles of governments and individuals in environmental protection. However, the arguments could be more developed with specific examples and clearer explanations. The use of language is appropriate but lacks precision and variety in some parts. Additionally, there are some grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the response.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument. The position is clear, and there is a logical progression of ideas. However, the arguments could be more thoroughly developed with detailed examples and explanations. Some points are mentioned but not fully explored, which limits the essay's effectiveness in supporting the position.
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some ideas are not fully linked, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more varied to enhance the flow of the essay.
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to address the topic. However, some word choices are imprecise or awkward, affecting the clarity and precision of the message. There is a need for more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to improve the overall lexical resource.
The essay contains some grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms and sentence structures, which impact the clarity of the writing. While the grammatical range is adequate, there is room for improvement in accuracy and complexity to enhance the overall quality of the response.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
Nowadays, there is a significantly increased number of environmental issues, which is assumed to be solved by the government as an obligation, not residents since their limited ability. In my perspective, I totally disagree with this because citizens can conserve the ecology by society’s effort as a whole.
The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer's position. However, the sentence structure could be improved for better clarity. The use of phrases like 'significantly increased number' could be more precise.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are several reasons why the authorities should be responsible for preserving the ecosystem. To begin with, most environmental issues such as climate change, air pollution or global warming are serious and require the corporation among countries to deal with. By organizing a meeting and carefully discussing, the governments would create the most efficient and optimal solution for those problems. Moreover, governments have the right to implement some laws in order to protect the ecology in their country. Singapore or European are the vivid examples, they have performed well in encouraging residents to use public transportation instead of private vehicles, which reduce a large amount of polluted emission, leading to lower risk of air pollution or greenhouse effects.
This paragraph presents valid points about the role of governments. However, terms like 'corporation' should be corrected to 'cooperation.' The examples given (Singapore or European) need more specificity and explanation. The paragraph would benefit from clearer connections between ideas.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, individuals can substantially contribute to ecological preservation due to the collective effort of a whole community. They can organize some campaigns to raise people’s awareness of causes and effects of environmental damages, which could incite them to engage in some protecting ecosystem activities. For instance, after participating in some operation driving conserve environment and recognizing the negative effects of waste products, many citizens reduce consuming plastic or chemical products and use more eco-friendly things, leading to cleaner and greener ecosystem.
The paragraph effectively argues for the role of individuals. However, it contains awkward phrasing like 'operation driving conserve environment.' More detailed examples and clearer explanations would strengthen the argument. The paragraph ends with a positive outcome, but the connection to the main idea could be clearer.
Conclusion
In conclusion, although addressing the ecological issues is the states’ duty since they have the ability to connect with other nations and impose some laws, I believe that the dwellers can also progress the environmental condition by the power of the whole society.
The conclusion restates the main argument and balances the roles of government and individuals. However, the phrase 'progress the environmental condition' is awkward. The conclusion could be made more impactful with a summary of the key points discussed.
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