Evaluation for Question #8587

Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.

Question

Your Essay

The debate over whether improve the public transport network structures or expand the route systems to reduce traffic jam is an ongoing one major topic of concern in today’s world. While it is believed the expanding of route systems is the solution to fit the problem, there is compelling evidence that use money to increase the quantity of public transport is more suitable.
   There is a common belief that building more and larger roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. An important reason is that more and wider roads can accommodate a larger number of vehicles gathering in one place, especially during rush hours. For example, in the holiday seasons like Lunar year, New year, many people go back to their hometown, the highway often packed with cars. If the government fund uses to increase the capacity of the road or building more lanes, the flow of traffic can be smoother and more efficient. Another reason is that expanding and building more routes can play a key role in reducing traffic congestions. It helps to distribute the traffic more evenly across different routes, preventing overcrowded roads. 
   However, there are more reasonable grounds that pay out money on improving railway and metro lines has better efficient on how to reduce traffic jams. This is firstly because the capacity of a train or subway car can accommodate about 200 to 300 people. From that, the number of vehicles has a dramatic decrease, which has directly contributed and most effect to reducing trafic jams. In addition to this, the more rail and subway routes, the more efficiency in reducing overcrowded roads. 
   In summary, there are a few reasonable grounds that building more and wider roads can reduce the traffic jams. However, there is stronger evidence that expend money in building the transportation networks can be more efficient and reasonable. It is recommended that the government should lay out money to increase the quality and quantity of public transportation systems.

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Overall Band

Task Response

Coherence

Lexical

Grammar

The essay addresses the task by considering both arguments and providing a personal viewpoint. However, the response could be enhanced by providing more detailed examples and explanations. There are issues with coherence and cohesion as well as lexical and grammatical accuracy that need improvement.

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear viewpoint. However, the arguments could be developed further with more detailed examples and reasoning. The conclusion reiterates the viewpoint but could be more conclusive.

The essay is organized with clear paragraphing, but there is a lack of clear linking between some ideas. Transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs can be improved for better flow and clarity.

The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks variety and precision. There are some errors in word choice and word form that affect clarity. More advanced vocabulary and accurate word usage would improve the essay.

There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly in verb forms, pluralization, and sentence structure. These errors sometimes hinder understanding. A wider range of grammatical structures with greater accuracy would enhance the essay.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.

Introduction

The introduction sets up the topic and presents both sides of the argument. However, there are grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The thesis statement is present but could be clearer.

Body paragraph 1

There is a common belief that building more and larger roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. An important reason is that more and wider roads can accommodate a larger number of vehicles gathering in one place, especially during rush hours. For example, in the holiday seasons like Lunar year, New year, many people go back to their hometown, the highway often packed with cars. If the government fund uses to increase the capacity of the road or building more lanes, the flow of traffic can be smoother and more efficient. Another reason is that expanding and building more routes can play a key role in reducing traffic congestions. It helps to distribute the traffic more evenly across different routes, preventing overcrowded roads.

This paragraph presents reasons for building more roads. The ideas are relevant, but the explanation lacks depth. Examples are provided, but they could be more specific and detailed. There are grammatical errors that affect clarity.

Body paragraph 2

However, there are more reasonable grounds that pay out money on improving railway and metro lines has better efficient on how to reduce traffic jams. This is firstly because the capacity of a train or subway car can accommodate about 200 to 300 people. From that, the number of vehicles has a dramatic decrease, which has directly contributed and most effect to reducing trafic jams. In addition to this, the more rail and subway routes, the more efficiency in reducing overcrowded roads.

This paragraph argues for the benefits of improving public transportation. The points made are valid but need further elaboration and examples. There are several grammatical and lexical errors that detract from the clarity of the argument.

Conclusion

In summary, there are a few reasonable grounds that building more and wider roads can reduce the traffic jams. However, there is stronger evidence that expend money in building the transportation networks can be more efficient and reasonable. It is recommended that the government should lay out money to increase the quality and quantity of public transportation systems.

The conclusion summarizes the main points and restates the author's viewpoint. It could be more decisive and provide a stronger closing statement. Some grammatical inaccuracies affect the fluency of the conclusion.

Evaluation for Question #8587

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

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Evaluation for Question #8587

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

(+84) 0383-096-717

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN