Evaluation for Question #8587

Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.

Question

Your Essay

The debate over whether improve the public transport network structures or expand the route systems to reduce traffic jam is an ongoing one major topic of concern in today’s world. While it is believed the expanding of route systems is the solution to fit the problem, there is compelling evidence that use money to increase the quantity of public transport is more suitable.
   There is a common belief that building more and larger roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. An important reason is that more and wider roads can accommodate a larger number of vehicles gathering in one place, especially during rush hours. For example, in the holiday seasons like Lunar year, New year, many people go back to their hometown, the highway often packed with cars. If the government fund uses to increase the capacity of the road or building more lanes, the flow of traffic can be smoother and more efficient. Another reason is that expanding and building more routes can play a key role in reducing traffic congestions. It helps to distribute the traffic more evenly across different routes, preventing overcrowded roads. 
   However, there are more reasonable grounds that pay out money on improving railway and metro lines has better efficient on how to reduce traffic jams. This is firstly because the capacity of a train or subway car can accommodate about 200 to 300 people. From that, the number of vehicles has a dramatic decrease, which has directly contributed and most effect to reducing trafic jams. In addition to this, the more rail and subway routes, the more efficiency in reducing overcrowded roads. 
   In summary, there are a few reasonable grounds that building more and wider roads can reduce the traffic jams. However, there is stronger evidence that expend money in building the transportation networks can be more efficient and reasonable. It is recommended that the government should lay out money to increase the quality and quantity of public transportation systems.

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6.0

Overall Band

6.0

Task Response

6.0

Coherence

6.0

Lexical

5.5

Grammar

The essay presents a balanced discussion of both arguments regarding traffic congestion. It provides some relevant examples and presents a clear viewpoint. However, there are noticeable language inaccuracies and cohesion issues that affect the overall clarity of the essay.

The essay addresses the task by considering both arguments and presenting a viewpoint. The examples provided are relevant but could be more detailed. There is a clear position in favor of improving public transport, but the reasoning lacks depth and could benefit from further development.

The essay has a logical structure with appropriate paragraphing. However, some parts are not well-connected, and the argumentation could be more cohesive. Transition phrases are used, but the essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word usage, which detracts from the overall effectiveness. There is a need for more precise and varied vocabulary.

There are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with verb forms, articles, and sentence structure. These errors sometimes obscure meaning and reduce the essay's overall coherence. More complex sentence structures could be utilized.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.

Introduction

The introduction sets up the topic and presents both sides of the argument. However, there are grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that need correction. The thesis statement is clear but could be more concise.

Body paragraph 1

There is a common belief that building more and larger roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. An important reason is that more and wider roads can accommodate a larger number of vehicles gathering in one place, especially during rush hours. For example, in the holiday seasons like Lunar year, New year, many people go back to their hometown, the highway often packed with cars. If the government fund uses to increase the capacity of the road or building more lanes, the flow of traffic can be smoother and more efficient. Another reason is that expanding and building more routes can play a key role in reducing traffic congestions. It helps to distribute the traffic more evenly across different routes, preventing overcrowded roads.

The paragraph provides reasons and an example for building more roads. However, the example lacks specificity and coherence is affected by grammatical errors. The argumentation could be more robust with additional data or examples.

Body paragraph 2

However, there are more reasonable grounds that pay out money on improving railway and metro lines has better efficient on how to reduce traffic jams. This is firstly because the capacity of a train or subway car can accommodate about 200 to 300 people. From that, the number of vehicles has a dramatic decrease, which has directly contributed and most effect to reducing trafic jams. In addition to this, the more rail and subway routes, the more efficiency in reducing overcrowded roads.

This paragraph presents the argument for improving public transport. The points are relevant, but the language is somewhat unclear due to grammatical errors. More detailed examples and evidence could strengthen the argument.

Conclusion

In summary, there are a few reasonable grounds that building more and wider roads can reduce the traffic jams. However, there is stronger evidence that expend money in building the transportation networks can be more efficient and reasonable. It is recommended that the government should lay out money to increase the quality and quantity of public transportation systems.

The conclusion summarizes the main points and restates the position. It effectively concludes the essay but could be improved with a more persuasive final statement. Language inaccuracies slightly weaken the impact.

Evaluation for Question #8587

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

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Evaluation for Question #8587

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

(+84) 0383-096-717

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN