Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Question
Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
7
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay addresses both arguments related to reducing traffic congestion. The writer provides a clear position supporting the construction of train and subway lines. However, the essay could benefit from more developed arguments, clearer paragraph separation, and improved grammatical accuracy.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both viewpoints and presenting a clear opinion. The arguments are relevant but could be further developed with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the position.
The essay is generally coherent with a logical structure. However, there is a need for clearer separation between paragraphs, and the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Some sentences are long and could be broken down for better clarity.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and repetition that could be improved with more varied expressions.
There are grammatical errors such as missing articles and incorrect verb forms. Sentence structures are occasionally awkward, affecting the overall readability. Greater grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structures would improve the score.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Introduction
It is often argued that funds of the government should be spent on establishing trains and subway lines in order to solve problems related to traffic jams. However, other people claim that broadening roads would be more effective in solving this issue. This essay aims to discuss both viewpoints and agrees with the first statement.
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer's position. However, it could be more concise, and the phrase 'funds of the government' could be rephrased for clarity.
Body paragraph 1
It is conspicuous that our cities are suffering from harsh traffic congestion. In order to solve this problem, many citizens urge the responsibles to develop roads that are dedicated to cars and two-wheel vehicles instead of building train lines. Indeed, this idea consists of expanding current streets and principal arteries as well as setting up new roads in order to get more space for automobiles and motorbikes. Furthermore, it would be an economical plan as the infrastructure which is used already exists. For instance, in Casablanca city, in Morocco, many boulevards have been widened to solve the traffic congestion issue.
The paragraph presents the argument for expanding roads but lacks depth in discussing the potential drawbacks. The example of Casablanca is relevant but could be elaborated to show its effectiveness.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, building train lines is also considered by a wide portion of the population a viable solution. This is because it is impossible to expand several streets that are located in the downtown. In fact, it is witnessed in huge cities that the city centre is already full of buildings and streets and that changing the architecture of these conurbations seems to be insane. Moreover, trains are considered eco-friendly due to the fact that electric energy is used to make them move. In this regard, considering trains as a commonly used public transportation is renowned as a reliable alternative by the public.
This paragraph supports the writer's position well, highlighting practical and environmental benefits. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and further discussion about feasibility.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it would be ridiculous to consider that adding more roads for personal vehicles would be viable to solve issues related to traffic congestion. It is crystal clear that establishing train lines and subways is the right alternative because of its realistic and environmentally friendly features.
The conclusion restates the writer's opinion effectively. Phrasing such as 'crystal clear' could be avoided for a more formal tone. The conclusion could summarize the key points from the essay to reinforce the argument.
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