Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Question
Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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7
Overall Band
8
Task Response
7
Coherence
7
Lexical
7
Grammar
The essay presents a clear position and addresses both sides of the argument effectively. It uses relevant examples to support the points made. However, there are some areas where the coherence and cohesion could be improved, and the lexical resource could be further developed. Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
The essay effectively addresses the task by considering both arguments and presenting a clear viewpoint. The arguments are well-reasoned and supported by examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's stance. However, the discussion of the opposing viewpoint could be more balanced to strengthen the response.
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother. The connection between the opposing viewpoint and the writer's stance could be further developed to enhance cohesion.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some precise terms relevant to the topic, such as 'traffic congestion' and 'public transportation.' However, there is room for improvement in using a wider variety of expressions and idiomatic language.
The essay shows a good command of grammatical structures with minor errors. Sentences are generally well-formed, but there are occasional lapses in complex sentence structures. Further variety in sentence types could enhance the grammatical range.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Introduction
Traffic congestion is significantly increasing in this day and age. It is believed that the governments should invest in construction of train and subway lines to deal with this problem, while some support building and extending roads. In this essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and show my opinion.
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and states the intention to discuss both viewpoints. However, it could be more engaging and concise. Consider summarizing the main points in a more compelling way.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, building trains and subway infrastructure is an ideal solution to ease traffic jams. It is advocated that subway systems can accommodate many people at the same time. With the space inside the subway and its own lanes and routes, the huge capacity will bring a lot of passengers to the destinations simultaneously without traffic congestion. For example, the elevated high-speed train system in Hanoi city has been focused on development in recent years to prevent traffic congestion on central roads. Additionally, public transportation will reduce pressure on parking lots. If public transportation spreads widely, the demand to find personal parking spaces will remarkably decrease, avoiding congestion in the central area.
This paragraph effectively presents the argument for investing in train and subway infrastructure. It uses a specific example to support the point. However, the connection between the points could be improved for better flow. The paragraph could also benefit from a concluding sentence to tie the ideas together.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, I think that extending roads and routes should not be advocated. While constructing wider roads might provide temporary relief by increasing the capacity for vehicles, it might not address the root cause of the issue. Building more roads often encourages more people to use private vehicles, leading to a phenomenon that traffic levels eventually return to their previous levels or even worsen. Furthermore, increasing road space can lead to urban sprawl. This forces people to travel longer distances to work, putting pressure on traffic in the future, exacerbating long-term traffic issues.
The paragraph presents a counter-argument and effectively explains why road expansion might not be a viable long-term solution. The connection between urban sprawl and traffic congestion is well-explained. However, the paragraph could be more concise, and the transition from the first body paragraph could be smoother.
Conclusion
To sum up, I strongly support the development of train and subway lines as the ideal method to deal with traffic congestion. These systems offer a long-term, sustainable solution by reducing the number of vehicles on the roads. Governments should put the priority of investments in public transit to create a more efficient traffic system.
The conclusion effectively reiterates the writer's stance and summarizes the main arguments. It provides a clear and strong end to the essay. However, it could be improved by briefly restating the main points discussed in the essay to reinforce the argument.
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