Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Question
Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
7
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay addresses the task well, presenting both sides of the argument and providing a clear viewpoint. However, there are issues with coherence and cohesion, as some ideas are not well-linked. The lexical resource is adequate, but there are moments of awkward phrasing. Grammatical accuracy is generally good, but there are occasional errors.
The essay effectively addresses the task by considering both arguments and presenting a clear viewpoint. The arguments are generally well-supported with examples, although the analysis could be deeper in places. The position is clear and consistently addressed throughout the essay.
The essay is logically organized, but some points lack clear connections. Transitional phrases are used, but they are not always effective in guiding the reader through the argument. Paragraphs are generally focused, but the linkage between ideas could be improved.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some precise and varied language. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and occasional repetition. There is some attempt at using less common lexical items, which enhances the essay.
The essay generally demonstrates good grammatical control, but there are some errors, particularly with article use and sentence structure. The range of grammatical structures is adequate, but there is room for more complex constructions.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Introduction
In order to mitigate traffic congestion, many individuals are of the opinion that it is a viable idea for governments to invest in constructing grand train and subway lines, while others argue that building more and wider roads can better address this traffic issue. From my perspective, adding more roads with higher capacity may potentially reduce traffic jams, for short-term purposes; however, I strongly believe that the effectiveness of the former option will far outweigh that of the latter approach. In this essay, I will discuss and further provide my viewpoint.
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main arguments. The thesis statement is clear and provides a roadmap for the essay. However, some phrases are overly complex and could be simplified for clarity.
Body paragraph 1
First, by building more roads and expanding existing ones, the government can temporarily alleviate traffic jams. When new roads are added, vehicles can be able to commute back and forth on new routes. Because of this evaluation, different modes of transports can have the ability to travel to their final destination by many other tracks, giving commuters more options in transport. As a result, overwhelming situations such as gridlocks, bottlenecks, could be alleviated, contributing to smoother traffic flow.
The paragraph presents a clear argument for building more roads, with logical explanations. However, some sentences are awkwardly phrased, and the paragraph could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen the argument.
Body paragraph 2
However, I strongly believe that building more train and subway stations can better address the overload of traffic, as it effectively promote public transportations and allocate the population to different transportations. First, if new train and subway lines are erected, citizens, especially those in metropolises, would be more inclined towards using these public transportations. For instance, many residents in Ho Chi Minh city of Vietnam were excited to experience and travel on the new Suoi Tien metro line, a predominant number of these citizens are now commuting mainly by this metro line on their daily basis. Therefore, the traffic on the roads can be substantially improved, as a significant number of individuals shift to public transportation, instead of using their private vehicles as the main means of transport. This, in return, can efficiently allocate citizens to different transport modes, whether public or private, even if there is a rise in population.
This paragraph effectively argues for train and subway expansion, with a relevant example to support the point. The reasoning is generally clear, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases. The paragraph could be more concise.
Conclusion
In conclusion, although broadening existing roads and constructing new ones can be an ideal option for short-term purposes, I believe that heavy traffic congestion can only be solved by building new public train and subway lines, thereby comprehensively enhance the traffic flow.
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main arguments and reiterates the writer's stance. However, the final sentence contains a grammatical error, and the conclusion could be slightly expanded to reinforce the main points.
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