Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Question
Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6.5
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a clear position and includes relevant arguments for both perspectives, but there are areas that need improvement in coherence, cohesion, and grammatical accuracy. The response could benefit from clearer paragraph transitions and more varied sentence structures.
The essay effectively addresses both perspectives of the argument and presents the writer's viewpoint clearly. However, the discussion could be more balanced with additional supporting details for the opposing viewpoint. The conclusion reiterates the main argument but could be more robustly tied to the evidence presented.
The essay is logically organized, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Some sentences are lengthy and complex, which can impede clarity. Improved use of cohesive devices between paragraphs would enhance the flow of the essay.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some higher-level words and phrases. However, there are occasional inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. More precision and variety in word choice would strengthen the lexical resource.
The essay contains various grammatical structures, but there are errors in tense usage, article use, and sentence structure. Greater grammatical accuracy and complexity would improve the overall writing quality.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
Introduction
In order to mitigate traffic congestion, many individuals are of the opinion that it is a viable idea for governments to invest in constructing grand train and subway lines, while others argue that building more and wider roads can better address this traffic issue. From my perspective, adding more roads with higher capacity may potentially reduce traffic jams, for short-term purposes; however, I strongly believe that the effectiveness of the former option will far outweigh that of the latter approach. In this essay, I will discuss and further provide my viewpoint.
The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives and the writer's stance. However, the sentence structure is complex and could be simplified for clarity. It effectively sets the stage for the discussion but could be more concise.
Body paragraph 1
First, by building more roads and expanding existing ones, the government can temporarily alleviate traffic jams. When new roads are added, vehicles can be able to commute back and forth on new routes. Because of this evaluation, different modes of transports can have the ability to travel to their final destination by many other tracks, giving commuters more options in transport. As a result, overwhelming situations such as gridlocks, bottlenecks, could be alleviated, contributing to smoother traffic flow.
The paragraph presents a clear argument for expanding roads, but the explanation is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. The phrase 'because of this evaluation' is unclear. The paragraph could benefit from more specific examples and clearer transitions.
Body paragraph 2
However, I strongly believe that building more train and subway stations can better address the overload of traffic, as it effectively promote public transportations and allocate the population to different transportations. First, if new train and subway lines are erected, citizens, especially those in metropolises, would be more inclined towards using these public transportations. For instance, many residents in Ho Chi Minh city of Vietnam were excited to experience and travel on the new Suoi Tien metro line, a predominant number of these citizens are now commuting mainly by this metro line on their daily basis. Therefore, the traffic on the roads can be substantially improved, as a significant number of individuals shift to public transportation, instead of using their private vehicles as the main means of transport. This, in return, can efficiently allocate citizens to different transport modes, whether public or private, even if there is a rise in population.
The paragraph provides a strong argument for public transportation with a relevant example. However, the sentence structure is complex and occasionally awkward. The paragraph could be improved with clearer, more concise sentences and a stronger link back to the initial argument.
Conclusion
In conclusion, although broadening existing roads and constructing new ones can be an ideal option for short-term purposes, I believe that heavy traffic congestion can only be solved by building new public train and subway lines, thereby comprehensively enhance the traffic flow.
The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's position but could be strengthened by explicitly tying back to the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. The phrase 'thereby comprehensively enhance the traffic flow' needs grammatical correction.
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