Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help to prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help to prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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7
Overall Band
7
Task Response
7
Coherence
7
Lexical
7
Grammar
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a balanced view on how technology influences crime rates. It presents well-structured arguments and utilizes a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures. However, there are some areas for improvement in coherence and cohesion, as well as more precise language use.
The essay provides a clear response to the task, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of technology in crime prevention and resolution. It offers relevant examples and maintains a balanced argument. However, the discussion could be expanded with more detailed analysis and evidence to support the points made.
The essay is generally well-organized, with clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. There is effective use of linking words and phrases. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the cohesion within paragraphs could be enhanced for greater clarity.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. It uses some less common lexical items accurately. However, there are instances where more precise language could be used to convey ideas more clearly.
The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical range and accuracy. Complex sentences are used effectively, though there are minor errors that do not impede comprehension. Greater variety in sentence structures could enhance the overall grammatical range.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help to prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
In today’s world, lawbreaking trends have decreased due to the development of technology, which can support law enforcers in restraining and resolving criminal activities. From my perspective, although criminals can misuse these technical gadgets, they still act as powerful deterrents for potential offenders and efficient resources for law investigations.
The introduction provides a clear thesis statement and outlines the main points that will be discussed. It sets the stage for the essay but could be more engaging to capture the reader's interest more effectively.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, cutting-edge technology plays an essential role in preventing offenses. The advanced surveillance systems not only help to deter criminal behaviors but also prevent offenders from evading detection. A notable example of this is the considerable decline in crimes such as vandalism, theft, and rape in public places in many nations. The application of high-tech programs, such as big data analytics, facial recognition, fingerprint identification, or AI monitoring, makes it faster and more straightforward to identify the lawbreaker by capturing real-time images instead of portraying which significantly depends on memory and witnesses. For instance, some cold cases have been thought to be hopeless, but justice has been implemented thanks to the assistance of technology in crime science.
This paragraph effectively discusses the role of technology in crime prevention, supported by relevant examples. However, the ideas could be more cohesively linked, and the example about cold cases could be expanded to provide more detail.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, lawbreakers can misuse those high-tech innovations for malicious purposes. Many sophisticated cybercriminals exploit the advancement of technology to engage in online fraud by sending messages with the contents of advertisements or emergencies and hacking users’ details to steal property. In Vietnam, an abundance of individuals, even young generations, have become victims of these illegal acts with no awareness of cautiousness.
The paragraph presents a counterargument effectively, highlighting the misuse of technology by criminals. It provides a specific example from Vietnam, which enhances the argument. However, the paragraph could benefit from a more in-depth analysis of the solutions to these issues.
Conclusion
In conclusion, although technology offers various modern tools for criminal surveillance and crime-solving, which significantly contribute to the decrease in crime rates, there are still some downsides of them being exploited for illegal acts. Therefore, the government should strengthen the nation’s security with proper solutions and the efficient application of high-tech resources.
The conclusion summarizes the main points well and provides a recommendation. It effectively ties back to the thesis but could offer a stronger final statement to leave a lasting impression.
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