Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help to prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help to prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view on the role of technology in reducing crime rates, acknowledging both its benefits and potential drawbacks. However, the response could be more developed with specific examples and clearer connections between ideas.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of technology on crime rates. However, it lacks depth in exploring these points and could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments presented.
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother, and there is occasional repetition of ideas that affects cohesion.
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at using less common lexical items. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocations that detract from the overall effectiveness of the language.
The essay shows a variety of grammatical structures, but there are frequent minor errors in punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. These errors do not impede understanding but do affect the overall grammatical accuracy.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help to prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
In recent years,there has been no doubt that cutting-edge technology contributes to preventing criminal activities , which also simplifies crime solving processes. From my viewpoint, I can partly agree with this statement because it offers some benefits for potential crimes too.
The introduction presents the topic and states a partial agreement. However, it could be more concise, and the last sentence is somewhat unclear in its meaning.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are several technological inventions that play crucial roles in the criminal arrest process. This is because they can provide accurate and valid evidence for police and investigation teams. For instance , CCTV cameras serve as visual evidence which helps to promote facial recognition and real-time surveillance to identify crimes. Furthermore, advancements in data analysis can avoid and anticipate potential criminal activities before they occur. In addition, crimes can be approached in an effective way through solution recommendations by analysing software. Therefore, as a wide range of advantages technologies bring up , there is no doubt that they have enhanced capability to solve crimes.
This paragraph outlines the benefits of technology in crime prevention and solving. It provides some examples but lacks depth in discussion. The connection between advancements in data analysis and crime prevention could be clearer.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, as technology is becoming increasingly accessible and developed, it can not just be considered a valuable tool for the government, but also a powerful weapon for criminals. Innovations make modern life more convenient, however, they are also exploited in illegal ways . There are severe consequences based on technology such as deepfakes, hacks and cyberattacks. Moreover, coming up with innovations , they present some limitations in technical issues. This is due to the fact that although data from CCTV can provide solid evidence, it can also easily be transformed into sophisticated clips or be deleted from memory.
This paragraph discusses the potential negative uses of technology by criminals. It introduces relevant issues but could benefit from more specific examples. The sentence structure is sometimes awkward, which affects clarity.
Conclusion
To sum up, while having significant potential in lowering crime rates, technology may be a powerful tool for criminals to commit crimes.
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay. However, it could be strengthened by suggesting possible solutions or further considerations regarding the use of technology in crime prevention.
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