These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?
Question
These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
4
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay addresses the topic but lacks depth and development. The introduction does not clearly outline the main arguments or the writer's stance on whether the trend is positive or negative. The essay does not contain body paragraphs or a conclusion, limiting its overall coherence and cohesion. Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, and there are grammatical inaccuracies.
The essay does not fully address the task. It introduces the topic and the issues but does not develop arguments or provide a clear opinion on whether the trend is positive or negative. More examples and explanations are needed to support the claims.
The essay lacks a clear structure. It only contains an introduction without any body paragraphs or conclusion, which affects coherence and logical progression. There is little use of cohesive devices to link ideas.
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of topic-specific vocabulary, and the essay relies on general expressions. More varied and precise vocabulary is needed to improve lexical resource.
There are several grammatical errors in sentence construction and verb tense. Sentences are generally simple, and there is a lack of complex structures. Improving grammatical range and accuracy is needed.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?
Introduction
Nowadays, humanity is developing more and more in all aspects of life and along with that is the development of modern science and technology. The development of electronic devices has increased children's love for computer games rather than outdoor activities. What is the cause of this problem and is it good or bad, in this article I will clarify my point of view.
The introduction provides a general overview of the topic but does not clearly state the main arguments or provide a thesis statement. It lacks a clear indication of the writer's stance on the positive or negative aspects of the trend.
Body paragraph 1
There is no body paragraph. To improve, the essay should include a paragraph discussing reasons why children prefer computer games and provide supporting details and examples.
Body paragraph 2
There is no body paragraph. The essay should contain a second paragraph that evaluates whether the trend is positive or negative, supported by examples and reasoning.
Conclusion
There is no conclusion. The essay should conclude by summarizing the main points and restating the writer's opinion on the development, whether it is positive or negative.
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