Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Question
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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4
Overall Band
4
Task Response
4
Coherence
4
Lexical
4
Grammar
The essay presents both views regarding advertisements but lacks depth, clarity, and structured arguments. The introduction and conclusion are weak, and the essay has numerous grammatical errors, affecting the overall readability.
The essay attempts to address both views of the topic but does so in a very superficial manner. The arguments are not well-developed or supported with examples. The writer's opinion is mentioned but not elaborated upon sufficiently.
The essay lacks clear structure and logical progression of ideas. There is a basic attempt to organize the essay into paragraphs, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs are weak. The lack of cohesive devices makes it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.
The vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and awkward phrasing. The essay lacks variety in vocabulary, which affects the overall expression of ideas.
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb forms, and sentence fragments. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the writing.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Introduction
Nowadays, the positive and the negative of advertisement are always be a hot topic on social media. There are have a difference between positives and negative of advertisement.
The introduction is vague and does not clearly introduce the topic. The sentence construction is awkward and contains grammatical errors. There is no clear thesis statement.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, advertisements can also have positive economic effects. Advertisement can help people to know more knowledge and as more customers are buy products to buff sales but it’s also help to reduce jobs, increasing benefit of city growth and the local lifestyle.
The paragraph introduces some positive effects of advertisements but lacks coherence and clarity. The points are not well-explained or supported. The grammar is weak, with several errors that impede comprehension.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand ,advertising can often be negative because there are a lot of advertising and some are not allow for the children or old people but it always replay on TV or on the billboard of everyday and sometimes the advertising PR for the products that have bad quality. So it can make the person feel uneasy and they get access to hurt health often can break the people behavior.
This paragraph attempts to discuss the negative effects of advertising but is poorly structured and hard to understand. The ideas are not logically connected, and the paragraph contains numerous grammatical mistakes.
Conclusion
In my opinion, there are both negative and positive of that advertisements social effects cause not everyone affected in the same way and though that the difference between young generations and old generation in difference fields. Lots of kind of advertising products that which company need to know what’s their customers target to reach and display more personalized advertising.
The conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points or provide a clear opinion. The sentence structure is confusing, and the grammar errors make it difficult to comprehend the writer's final stance.
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