Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Question
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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4
Overall Band
4
Task Response
4
Coherence
4
Lexical
4
Grammar
The essay addresses the task but lacks development and clarity. It presents a very brief discussion of the positive economic effects of advertising but does not adequately explore the negative social effects or provide a personal opinion. The language used is basic, with several grammatical errors and limited vocabulary.
The task response is incomplete. The essay introduces the topic and attempts to discuss the positive economic effects of advertisements, but it does not adequately address the negative social effects or provide a balanced discussion as required by the prompt. Additionally, the personal opinion is not clearly stated.
There is a lack of coherence and cohesion in the essay. The structure is not clear, with only one body paragraph provided. Ideas are not fully developed, and there is a lack of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs effectively.
The essay demonstrates limited vocabulary and some inappropriate word choices. There are spelling errors and a lack of variety in word choice, which affects the clarity and precision of the argument.
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and punctuation. These errors interfere with the reader's understanding and reduce the overall quality of the writing.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Introduction
While many people argue that advertisements bring economic benefis , others think there are lots of negative effects for individuals and society . This is because some people is not satisfied with their life . And this essay will disscuss both views and give my opinion .
The introduction attempts to outline the main points but lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. The thesis statement is unclear, and the introduction does not effectively set up the essay's structure.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand , advertisements may have positive economic effects . Companies make use of advertising as a way to approach customers and enhance sales volume. This lead to stimulate economic activities và make various opportunities in job such as maketing , salers.
This paragraph briefly discusses the positive economic effects of advertising but lacks depth and development. There are several spelling and grammatical errors, and the paragraph does not fully explore the point or provide examples.
Body paragraph 2
The essay is missing a second body paragraph. It is essential to address both views of the argument and to explore the negative social effects of advertising as per the task prompt.
Conclusion
The essay lacks a conclusion. A conclusion should summarize the main points and clearly state the writer's opinion, providing closure to the essay.
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