Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Question
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay attempts to address the task by discussing both positive economic effects and negative social effects of advertisements. However, there is a lack of depth in the analysis and insufficient support for the main points. The structure of the essay is basic, and there are numerous grammatical errors and issues with coherence and cohesion.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the discussion lacks depth and the examples provided are not well developed. The opinion is stated but not sufficiently supported with detailed arguments or examples.
The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas are not smooth and the cohesion within paragraphs is weak. There is a lack of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the argument.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are several inaccuracies in word choice and word forms. The repetition of words and phrases suggests a lack of vocabulary variety. More precise and varied vocabulary is needed to enhance the lexical resource.
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with sentence structure, punctuation, and article usage. There is a need for greater grammatical control and range to improve clarity and readability.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Introduction
it is said that some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas other think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have.In my opinion,this idea is correct.
The introduction presents the topic and provides an opinion. However, it lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. It does not clearly outline the structure of the essay.
Body paragraph 1
On the hand,advertising has many profits.Firstly, advertisements can use advertising for introducing their equipments to customers.For example,Apple company uses advertising to introduce new smartphone.Secondly,advertising can produce new jobs for people like marketing. Nowadays,advertising is very important for many companies.As a result,people will have a job and they can make money to live them and their family.
This paragraph discusses the positive economic effects of advertising but lacks depth and detailed examples. The points are not well elaborated and the paragraph contains several grammatical errors.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand,advertising has many drawbacks.Firstly,many advertising are very noisy so it can effect customers.For instance,gambing advertising is very noisy.Secondly,people can be bombarded by advertisements.Nowadays, advertising is everywhere,any time so people will feel tired since they watch or listen to advertising
This paragraph addresses the negative social effects of advertising. However, the points are not well supported and the examples are not convincing. There are also grammatical errors that affect readability.
Conclusion
In conclusion,advertising has many positive and negative.In my opinion,the benefits are more than the drawbacks so advertisements may have positive economic effects
The conclusion restates the opinion but does not effectively summarize the main points. It is brief and lacks a strong closing argument.
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