Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Question
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
4
Grammar
The essay presents both sides of the argument but lacks clear structure and coherence. There are numerous grammatical errors and a limited range of vocabulary. The arguments are somewhat repetitive, and the essay could benefit from more precise examples and a clearer conclusion.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both positive economic effects and negative social effects of advertisements. However, the arguments are not well-developed, and there is a lack of concrete examples to support the points. The opinion is stated, but it's not clearly justified.
The essay lacks a clear structure. Paragraphs are not well-organized, and there is a lack of clear topic sentences. Transitions between ideas are weak, and the ideas are sometimes repetitive. Improved paragraphing and linking devices would enhance coherence.
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are attempts to use less common lexical items, but these are often inaccurate or inappropriate. Spelling errors are present, and the essay would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary.
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, including issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence fragments, and incorrect tense usage. These errors interfere with the clarity of the writing. More complex sentence structures are attempted but often incorrectly formed.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Introduction
nowadays, in many personal's awareness promotion may have positive beneficial effects and the others think that advertisement are making negative community effects for individuals
The introduction is unclear and contains grammatical errors. It lacks a clear thesis statement and does not effectively introduce the main points of the essay.
Body paragraph 1
Many people think thay promotion have positive effects in economic . This is because advertisement can support the businesses to wide know their products , it also can help increase the percentage of people buying products and knowing products . The businesscan promote to audidences about the benefit of their product and how usefull they are which can help customer make a decide to buy their goods from that the business can get a huge income and they need to pay amout of loan for the goverment . This mean that advertisement boost the economic of country , personal and business
The paragraph attempts to discuss the economic benefits of advertising but lacks clarity and structure. There are several grammatical errors, and the ideas are not well-developed. The paragraph could benefit from specific examples and clearer argumentation.
Body paragraph 2
The others think that advertisements have negative social effects on personal awareness . The main reason of this awareness is unrealistic beuty standard . Beuty advertisements was famous today . People might see these type of advertisement in everywhere and this can build an awareness that the celebrity in advertisement was a beuty standard . Some people oftent compare them with celebrity and this behaviour can lead to lack of confident .For long time beuty advertisement can lead to unrealistic beuty standard . Secondly , promotions give people many types of products and the individuals migh always feel unenough .For example, when people have motorbike and they saw a promotion about car , how effective the car was and how useful the car is . People may feel dissatisfie with their motorbike; when people are employee and they saw an successful CEO in advertisement they may felt they were very tinh and weakness. Furthermore, advertisement saw many successful person and luxury products per day and people have to saw these advertisement .For long time people might build an unrealistic beuty standard and they might not satisfied who they are and what they have .
The paragraph discusses the negative social effects of advertisements but is repetitive and lacks coherence. Grammatical errors and unclear phrasing detract from the clarity of the argument. The examples provided are vague and not clearly linked to the main point.
Conclusion
In my opinion , i agree with both of views. Advertisement may bring huge beneficial effects for business buy promoting their product to the customers but it also make humand feeling dissatisfie with them self and what they have by using celebrity to promote their beuty products
The conclusion is brief and does not effectively summarize the main points of the essay. It lacks a clear final opinion or recommendation. Grammatical errors are present, and the conclusion could benefit from a more structured and comprehensive summary.
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