Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Question
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay addresses both views regarding the economic benefits and social drawbacks of advertisements. However, it lacks depth in the discussion and does not provide a clear personal opinion. The ideas are not fully developed, and the examples are not well-integrated or sufficiently relevant. The cohesion and coherence of the essay are weak, with limited logical flow between ideas. Vocabulary usage is basic and repetitive, and there are grammatical errors that impact clarity.
The essay covers both sides of the argument, but the points are not developed with sufficient detail or examples. The writer's own opinion is not clearly stated. The discussion of positive effects is superficial, and the negative effects are not clearly linked to the theme of personal dissatisfaction. The conclusion simply restates the introduction without offering new insights.
The essay lacks a clear structure and logical flow. Ideas are presented in a disjointed manner, and transitions between paragraphs are abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and paragraphing could be improved for better clarity and readability.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent repetition of words like 'advertisements' and 'effects.' Some word choices are awkward or imprecise, and there is a lack of complex vocabulary that would enhance the discussion.
There are frequent grammatical errors in the essay, including incorrect verb tense, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors occasionally obscure meaning and impact the overall clarity of the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Introduction
Advertisements have been recognized around the world. Some people think that advertisements have positive economic effects, but some people still think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. I will discuss and give my own opinion about both views.
The introduction presents the topic and states that both views will be discussed. However, it lacks a clear thesis statement or indication of the writer's personal opinion. The language is repetitive and could be more engaging.
Body paragraph 1
Yes, advertisements have positive economic effects. First, advertisements introduce their products to people, making them want to have them. That includes a large amount of money that will come to the company. They also have to pay more taxes for the government, which boosts the economy. Secondly, this effect also helps gain some rewards for these people. Some advertisements talk about hunger, homeless children, and ask for donations from people around the world.
This paragraph attempts to explain the economic benefits of advertisements but lacks depth and specificity. The points about taxes and charity are not well-explained or directly related to the economic effects of advertising. The paragraph lacks coherence and clear examples.
Body paragraph 2
However, some people think there are negative social effects. First, fake products or expired products make people unhappy due to advertisements saying that they will help you, but in reality, they do not. Secondly, gambling and adult content affect parents when they let their kids use technology.
The paragraph addresses the negative social effects but does not clearly relate them to the issue of personal dissatisfaction. The examples provided are not well-integrated, and the discussion is superficial. The paragraph lacks cohesion and logical development.
Conclusion
In conclusion, advertisements have some positive economic effects but also still have some negative effects.
The conclusion is a simple restatement of the introduction and does not provide any new insights or a clear personal opinion. It fails to summarize the main points effectively or offer a resolution to the discussion.
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